I feel it only fair, and somewhat necessary, to be honest with you all. I’ve been contemplating some major transitions in life lately. And while the uncertainty does come wrapped in trepidation, I’m hopeful and even reverent for what’s to come.
Change is terrifying. It always has been, for me. And I am in the midst of some considerable change.
Three years ago, my life was changed forever, in so many amazing ways, when I decided to become my own boss as a health & fitness coach. I was passionate about the products, eager for the opportunity and overwhelmed by the love and support I received from the team of women around me.
When I began this journey, I was charmed by the work. For the first two years of my journey as a coach, my team grew along with my passion for helping women make their health a priority and make their dreams a reality. I was proud of the work we were doing, of all that we stood for and of the life I was able to create for my family.
When my marriage fell apart, I was forced to step back from my business a bit and focus on my son, my health and on adjusting to life as a single mother. My team was strong and I had complete confidence that they would continue to thrive. What I didn’t anticipate is how vital my presence as a leader was in maintaining a positive team culture. The culture of acceptance, encouragement and empowerment began to erode and I wasn’t there to notice it.
What I also didn’t anticipate is that my team was vulnerable to the ever-increasing negativity that comes with any large group of women put together under the guise of competition. By the time I found my way back, the team I had worked so hard to build was gone. The business I had poured my blood, sweat and tears into had become something I no longer felt a fire for. The entire coach community, even outside of my team, had become something I was no longer proud to be a part of. I saw the ugliness, the cattiness. I just didn’t feel good about what I was doing anymore. I wanted to help people find happiness and freedom, and I didn’t feel like this was the way to do that anymore.
If I’m being honest, and that is my goal here, then I need to say that I’ve also grown disconnected. From the work, from the team, from the ever-changing atmosphere. When I became a part of that organization, it was something I was proud of. It was something I was passionate about sharing. It was empowering. It was growth. It was knowledge, and trans-formative. It was fulfillment. But as the organization grew quite rapidly, it began to change in a fundamental way. Where there had been empowerment, competition and jealousy began to harbor. Where there had been growth and transformation, stagnancy began to fester. And where passion once thrived, complacency and disconnect flooded in. My personal struggles with Lupus, divorce and the loss of a child made it difficult for me to maintain the culture that I had created amidst the growing pressure of negative influence. And as I slowly began to put the pieces of my life back together, I realized that what I had come back to was almost unrecognizable.
Initially, the thought of losing something else that held such tremendous meaning in my life was almost unbearable. I had given up hopes and dreams, a marriage, a baby. And now the loss of a business I’ve poured my heart and soul into. It’s scary. It’s heartbreaking. But, I can say in complete confidence, it’s part of the plan. No, not part of my plan. But none of what’s transpired over the last six years has been part of my plan. I was going to have a rewarding career as a social justice warrior. I was going to travel the world. But God had a different plan, and that plan was far better than anything I’d ever imagined. I became a Lupus warrior. I became a mom. I became an entrepreneur. I found my soulmate. Although I may be stepping out into the unknown, I’m doing it with complete faith in a God that has never once forsaken me.
After a lot of prayer and discernment, I decided to walk away from my job as a coach. I shared this news with my team a few weeks ago, and started to shift my focus toward building my own brand and the other projects I’m working on. And while I have received an abundance of support, excitement and interest in my new endeavors, from within and outside of the coach community, I have also received quite a few criticisms, passive aggressive posts and “unfriending” from coaches I once considered to be my friends. It’s disappointing, to say the least. Since when did it become unacceptable to leave a job if it was no longer the right fit?
I’ve been accused of “only being a coach for the money” and “being fake” or “being selfish.” The truth is that I started to feel fake trying to talk about a business I no longer enjoyed. And I knew that I was limited by the company and that I had the potential to help a lot more people outside of that umbrella. In fact, when one of my mentors asked me what my goals were for the year, I replied with “to help as many people as possible create the life they want.” Health coaching just isn’t the platform for me to do that anymore.
My motivations are as pure as they’ve ever been. But I can no longer represent something I don’t believe in. And while I continue to use the products personally, I can no longer recruit women into a business that has become the opposite of what I stand for. I will be forever grateful for the opportunity to help so many women make positive changes in their lives, and for the impact coaching has had on my life. Because of the women who empowered me to take that step and succeed, I have a newfound confidence and thirst for life that I will carry with me in all of my endeavors.
As you’ve likely noticed, I have been working very hard on numerous other projects to be able to help as many of you as possible. There is so much opportunity out there in the world, and I want to help connect you with it and find a way to make it work for you. My mission for 2017 is to help YOU create peace, happiness, freedom and purpose in your life. And I’m more determined than ever before. They say that when one door closes, another opens. They say that the most successful people in the world change jobs every 3 years. They say a lot of things to make change less scary. But I say, face the fear. Let it in. Let it strengthen you, let it build your character. But don’t ever let it keep you down.
Change is scary. But it’s part of life. And life is good.
To those of you who have continued to support me throughout this transitional time in my life, I thank you sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. You are a constant source of inspiration and strength to me.
To those of you considering a change in your life, I implore you to follow your heart and let go of fear. It is only when you step beyond your comfort zone that you begin to see the world of possibility.
And, to those of you who are ready to stop living by demand and start creating a life by design, let’s chat. I can help you, and it would be my honor and privilege.