When we focus on ourselves, we can easily gather all the evidence we need not to care about responsibilities, expectations, our own hopes and dreams and, worst of all, one another. Every time something doesn’t go as planned, we’re confronted with adversity or another human being hurts us, we’re faced with the temptation to say “screw it” and throw in the towel. Give up. On our jobs, our families, our relationships and our own aspirations. But to respond to circumstance with apathy is really just a mask for cowardice. You’ve been hurt, disappointed, let down, failed and you don’t want to risk facing that again. It’s EASIER to walk away, to dismiss that responsibility, that goal or that person and just give up.

APATHY = FEAR.

Human beings weren’t meant to be disconnected from one another. We are social creatures, dependent on community. We do not thrive, or even survive, in isolation. Yet apathy is a psychological tool we use to separate ourselves from one another. And it’s completely inauthentic. Inherently, human beings long for love, acceptance and socialization with other humans. But that isn’t possible with apathy. It’s only possible with empathy.

Empathy is the ability to step outside of your own thoughts, emotions, experience, expectations and “needs” and to put yourself into the mindset of another human being. To really GET that your reality is only yours and that people have their own perception and experience. And that each is valid. Empathy is giving up the need to be right or heard or validated and being committed to understanding someone else. It’s allowing someone the grace, tolerance, acceptance, patience and forgiveness they need in their humanness. It’s having the courage to keep moving forward knowing you may be hurt or let down or fail, but that the privilege to simply BE with another human being, sharing their time and space, contributing to their life and gaining in return, is well worth the risk. Empathy is embracing your innate connection to other human beings absent of expectation or fear. It creates a space for you to be your authentic self and for others to be theirs. And THAT is a powerful place to come from.

Stop giving up on your responsibilities. On your dreams. On the people you care about. Life is hard and messy, that’s the price we pay for being alive. Toss out your drawer full of apathy and try on something new. EMPATHY = LOVE.

I was a young woman, naive in so many ways, and a virgin to the incessant demands and relentless uncertainty of adulthood. In the years that followed, I attended college. I got married. I became a mother. I developed a chronic illness. I became an entrepreneur. My marriage failed. My body failed. My business failed. I was lost. But, throughout the twists and turns of the path I was on, I found a way to navigate and strategize and, most importantly, envision a better future.

I shared my journey and surprisingly, people found inspiration and hope in that. People began reaching out to me, not only to offer encouragement or thank me for sharing my most vulnerable moments and the way I forged through them, but also to share their own personal experiences and struggles. People came to me to find strength, insight, help. It became my privilege and purpose to give it, and to share in their pain as well as in their hope.  Helping others sort through their circumstance, find direction and courage and create a clear path toward their own happiness became a personal mission.

I was working on other projects and building businesses, but all the while, I was distracted by the influx of people seeking the same thing I was working toward in my own life, happiness. Only I realized that it wasn’t a distraction at all. It was more of a calling, something that had become my passion and purpose. After quite a bit of discernment, introspection and the help of some powerful seminars and life coaching of my own, I decided that this is where my focus should be.

I am, by my very nature, a coach. A cheerleader, a helper, an encourager and a problem solver. It is within me the desire and the need to help people move past their fears and circumstances into the life they are capable and worthy of. That has become my mission.

As a life coach, I can help you identify your goals and the things that are holding you back from achieving them. I can help you sort through the uncertainty and make decisions confidently. I can help you find possibility in all the areas of your life where you want to create change. Together, we can create a vision for your ideal future and empower you to get you there.

It was the answer to my biggest insecurity as someone brand new to sales and recruitment. How was I supposed to convince people that I knew what I was doing, that I was going to be successful, that they could trust me to help them achieve their goals? Simple. Fake it. Until I make it. I did just that. And it worked. It really did. For awhile.

I used social media as a platform to grow my business. I made posts about every little freedom my job allowed me. I shared about how rapidly my team was growing. I posted about all of the wonderful aspects of this job and all of the opportunity it created, for someone who was successful in doing it, which wasn’t me quite yet. But it did work. People saw my excitement, my commitment and my faith in what I was doing and they joined it. It really didn’t take that long before I was actually successful.

The fake-it-til-you-make-it approach worked so well that I started teaching it to my team. Well, not just teaching. Perhaps more like preaching. It became part of my training model. I expected new team members to make these types of posts regularly because, if they wanted to be successful, this concept worked. And it worked relatively quickly.

What I didn’t realize until much later is that faking it doesn’t actually work at all. Why? Because it’s a lie. It’s inauthentic. It’s not sustainable. Sure, I did find actual success by faking it in the beginning. But in the process, I lost part of myself. I became this other version of myself on social media, and even beyond. I was no longer able to clearly distinguish what was part of the lie and what wasn’t. I felt a constant need to uphold an image, an ideal of what life was like, in order to attract people to what I was doing. It was draining. Eventually I started to disengage from my business because I had come to feel so inauthentic about who I was being. I didn’t want to do it anymore. And I didn’t know any other way to do my job.

After some time “off”, a lot of personal development and time soul searching, I realized that there was another way. A better way. I decided to start fresh and make it until I made it. 

Confusing? Maybe a little. Let me explain. I just realized that instead of pretending to be this or that, I just had to start making my life the way I wanted it to be until it was the way I wanted it to be. It’s simple, really. Just get to work. Start creating. Start doing. Start being.

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” -Buddha

When I adopted this new approach to my businesses, and to my life, I found a completely new kind of freedom. A freedom in being fully present to the passion and purpose behind my goals. Having access to that created the space for so much more success and possibility. Perhaps more importantly, that methodology has allowed me to be wholly at peace with where I am at any stage, with any endeavor while feeling completely empowered to design my life as I want. That is true freedom.

If you are struggling to find clarity, direction or power in any area of your life, I would love the opportunity to help. Fill out this form for a free consult.

If you read my last blog post, you probably learned quite a bit about me. I revealed some of my deepest, darkest truths to the world wide web as part of a program I was completing back in May. And I’ve been pretty quiet here since then. But it’s not out of shame or embarrassment. The truth is that I’ve been insanely busy with some amazing changes in my life that all began when I finished the Landmark Forum and came back to Pittsburgh.

When I went to Los Angeles in early spring, my life here at home was in shambles. I had just lost a successful business I’d spent three years pouring my blood, sweat and tears into. My relationship ended abruptly, and in a very toxic way. I felt lost. I was alone, a single mom with no sustainable source of income and no idea where to go from there. So I boarded a plane to LA to get away and gain some clarity. My lifelong friend, Matt, had insisted I enroll in the Landmark Forum, a “self-help” seminar of which I had no knowledge about. I’ve always been invested in self growth and introspection and his passion and push for me to complete this program left me little excuse to decline.

The three (very long) days I spent doing the Forum were truly the most transformative of my life. When I gave birth to my son, I became a mother and I suddenly knew unconditional love for another. When I completed the Landmark Forum, I became free and I suddenly knew unconditional love for myself, and for all others. It was THAT powerful.

Life after Landmark has been a whirlwind, but I wanted to take some time to share with you what that’s been like. As a blogger, I always feel compelled to let you into my world. But truthfully, the point of this post is to share with you what is possible for you, through Landmark. Allow me to say, as a side note, that I am in no way affiliated with Landmark Worldwide. I simply want to pay it forward by sharing my experience.

Now, the good stuff!

As part of the course, I was encouraged to write letters and make phone calls to people I had wronged, or who had wronged me, as part of a self-liberation process from any guilt or resentment that might be holding me back from success, healthy relationships and really in any area of my life. This part of the Forum was challenging, but I welcomed the opportunity to free myself of the baggage I’d been dragging around for thirty-some years. I knew that, despite the outcome of those calls and letters, I’d be coming home to the same life in disarray, of which I had no idea how to rebuild. But I was returning with a newfound freedom; freedom from self-limitation, freedom from the guise of victimhood and freedom from fear.

As I stepped off of the plane in Pittsburgh, I was keenly aware of the absence of a fear that had come to dictate my existence. I knew that only possibility existed beyond those doors. I was ready for it, whatever it was.

I had two major goals for myself post-Landmark. The first was to do everything in my power to rebuild the relationship I had so intently destroyed prior. I knew that repairing the damage would not be easy, that it would take time, patience, determination and forgiveness. But I refused to believe that it was impossible. I only saw what was POSSIBLE. Pursuing this goal was one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life. It demanded that I remain outside of the meanings I was inclined to attach to everything that was said, or unsaid, done or undone. It demanded that I see the man that I love for who he really is, and not for the ways in which he responded to the unraveling of our relationship. It demanded that I forgive myself, and him over and over again, for our insecurities and fears and flaws. It demanded that I remain focused solely on the possibility of something new. And, in the end, through God’s grace and through the freedom and clarity I gained through the Landmark Forum, victory was ours. Mine, and his. And God’s. We are now happier and healthier than ever, and have a completely different relationship. And guess what? He decided to do the Forum as well!

It wasn’t just that relationship that was healed, though. Virtually every relationship in my life improved because I had learned how to separate people from their actions, and separate people’s actions from the meanings we attach to them. I was able to see people for who they truly are, behind the walls and beneath the scars. I was able to be my true self as well.

My second goal, after returning home, was to move forward with my professional life. After losing my business, I was terrified to pour my heart into something else and fail. I felt inadequate, and doomed to failure. I found excuses to stay where I was, afraid to take that risk again. But after Landmark, I knew what I wanted to do. And I knew what I needed to do to get there. So I got to work. I’ve been quiet here, but behind the screen, I’ve been insanely busy working on an entirely new business that I am so excited about. I’ve partnered with a great friend of mine to bring something unique and fresh to Pittsburgh’s dating scene! And after months of research, hard work and all of the chaos that a start-up brings, we are just two weeks away from opening our doors. My goal is to build this company to become a staple in Pittsburgh, helping people find love, and eventually head back to Los Angeles to start building there as well.

I’ve also been working behind the scenes on a strategy to develop my personal brand and focus on finding my direction there. I’m excited to be offering life and business coaching both in-office and virtually. You can find more info under the Coaching tab!

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to spend as much quality time with my son as possible during the warm, summer months and before he heads back to school and the new company launches. I’m heading back to LA in October to do the next course in the Landmark curriculum. I’m also doing Landmark seminar series here in Pittsburgh that starts next week.

Only three months after my experience with Landmark, life looks completely different. The impossible became possible, and the possible became reality. I have some big goals I’m still working on, but I have total confidence in my ability to make them happen. Until then, I’m enjoying the ride and all I’ve been blessed with.

For more information on the Landmark Forum, visit http://www.landmarkworldwide.com

Three years ago, after nearly a year of being offered an opportunity to become my own boss for the first time, I took the plunge into entrepreneurship and joined a direct sales company as an independent distributor. I had virtually no experience, no education and no network. I was a new mom, desperate to be at home with my child, with little hope of ever being able to do that without sacrificing financial stability for our growing family. But something inside of me kept telling me that maybe I could. Maybe there was a way.

From the day I got started, my only regret has been that I hadn’t done it sooner. I’ve learned over these years that anyone, even a stay-at-home-mom with no time, energy or clue what she was doing, can be an entrepreneur. I keep using the term “entrepreneur” as if it’s some fancy job. I assure, it’s not. I work from home in sweatpants, hair un-brushed, covered in dog slobber and half- watching Star Wars with my son. It’s not a glamorous job. But it allows me the freedom to focus my life on what truly matters to me: my family, my health and my mission. And it CAN do the same for you.

I want to address some fears and misconceptions about entrepreneurship. But first, allow me to state that my goal is not to convince you to do anything. My intent here is simply to help you break down that wall of self-defeat that’s keeping you from living the life you truly want, and to offer you a way to create that life.

Who? I think the biggest challenge I face in helping people start their own businesses is helping them BELIEVE that they are capable of doing it. Before I became my own boss, I really struggled to see myself as a successful “business” person. I looked at the people who were living that life and felt disconnected and inadequate. I allowed my inexperience and excuses to keep me from following my heart for nearly an entire year. I’ve realized two things since then. First, almost everyone feels this way before they get started. It’s normal to experience fear and doubt when considering a big change. The second thing I’ve learned is that while fear and hesitation may be normal, thinking that you CANNOT do something is wrong. You can do anything you want. The only catch is that you have to believe that it’s possible.

When people ask me if entrepreneurship is right for them, my answer is always “yes.” I believe wholeheartedly that it’s for anyone who wants to create a life with more time, purpose and freedom. There are no prerequisites. There are no disqualifications. Anyone can do this.

Why? There is no question more relevant than that of why someone would want to become an entrepreneur. In fact, this question is so vital that I would’ve started the post with it had I not found so many people counting themselves out of the opportunity on the basis that entrepreneurship is “not for them.” But now that we’ve established that it is, in fact, for everyone, let’s dig into the why.

If I met with you or spoke with you on the phone to discuss becoming an entrepreneur, one of the first things I’d ask you is “WHY do you want to do this?” And by why, I mean what do you hope to gain from it. What are you looking for that you think this opportunity can provide? Why is critical because it’s what will motivate you. It’s what will push you out of your comfort zone, beyond your self-doubt and into success. It’s your fuel AND your fire.

How? There are endless ways to become your own boss, but not all are equal. So bare with me.

Starting a company can be expensive, time consuming and risky. The cost of a storefront or warehouse alone can be hundreds of thousands of dollars or more. Factor in equipment, furniture, inventory, labor, advertising, insurance and any other expenses and the majority of Americans are looking at an unattainable goal. Even if you have the capital to invest that much of your money, you’re taking a huge risk.

Then there’s the issue of time. Starting a brick & mortar business takes a tremendous amount of time. Time is your most valuable resource because it can never be replenished. Time you spend investing into a business is time away from every other area of your life. How much time are you willing to devote to creating a life of freedom? 40 hours a week? 50? 60? More?

The good news is that you can become an entrepreneur without having to invest a ton of time or money. That’s how I did it. And that’s why I’m such a huge advocate of network marketing. Bill Gates once said “If I would be given a chance to start over again, I’d choose network marketing.” Dave Ramsey has stated that “The worst thing we can do is get a second job. the best thing we can do is start a home-based business.” Why are these guys such proponents of network marketing? Because it works. I’m living proof.

I went from being a stay-at-home mom living paycheck to paycheck, buying groceries and diapers with credit cards to earning a six figure income, paying off debt and buying my dream car. And I did it from home, working about 10-15 hours a week in my pajamas. It works. It works for anyone.

Where? The answer to this is simple: literally anywhere. Network marketing is a mobile business. My entire business is run through the internet, so I can work from home. Or from the park. Or on vacation. Or wherever I decide to live.

When? Yesterday!

Like I said before, the only regret I have since getting started in network marketing is that I didn’t start sooner. For years I allowed myself to believe that a life of financial freedom or of success was only possible for others, not me. I struggled financially. I thought I’d never get ahead. I felt I’d never be able to provide a good life to my son, to take him on vacations and give him great experiences. I was overwhelmed with debt, fear and hopelessness. I allowed my fear of failure to keep me from having the life I wanted. I settled. Until I realized that there was a better way. Life had more to offer, even for me, if I believed in it.

Besides the fear of taking that first step, I know a lot of people think they don’t have the time to invest into growing a business. I know that time is invaluable. I get it. But one of the greatest things about network marketing is that it doesn’t take a lot of time. It really only takes a few small actions, consistently, day after day. If you can spare an hour a day, you can do this. And isn’t an hour a day worth a lifetime of freedom?

The toughest part of my job is seeing people on the verge of freedom afraid to take that step forward. I want to push them. Pull them. Drag them. Because I know how close they are to breaking through that wall between settling and succeeding. I understand their fear but I know that freedom lies on the other side.

When one of my mentors asked me what my goal was for the year, my reply was this….”I want to help as many people as possible create freedom in their lives by becoming their own bosses.” I’m deeply and sincerely committed to that.

The Nitty Gritty. Okay, okay. So having your own business isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. If’ I’m being totally honest. I need to let you in on a few secrets.

1. Taxes. Taxes can be a tiny bit of a pain, but not really. It’s as simple as putting part of your income away and saving all of your receipts. And getting to write off dinner at your favorite restaurant, talking about how much you love your job!
2. Websites and Inventory. Unlike starting a business from the ground up, network marketing eliminates so much of the work. You get your own website(s) and don’t need to stock inventory. Friends and family members can order goods and services through you and pay directly through your site, and the company ships right to them! So you can focus your time on sharing what you’re doing and helping others!
3. Social Media. Let’s be real. We are living in a social media world. Even our president uses social media to communicate. Social media sites are an incredible tool for business owners because they allow you to reach millions of people from your phone or computer! To be successful in network marketing, you have to learn to leverage the power of social media. Sometimes that means stepping out of your comfort zone. But trust me, even for introverts, it’s a game changer and it’s well worth it!

So there you have it. I hope I’ve given you a little bit of insight into what it takes to be an entrepreneur in today’s modern world. Even more so, I hope I’ve given you some hope that entrepreneurship is right for you! If you have even the slightest notion of taking that step into entrepreneurship, let’s chat!

Often times I have men and women join me on this journey of entrepreneurship with wide eyes and excitement. But after a few months, or even a few years, they haven’t seen the success they hoped for. They get discouraged and pull back, or even quit altogether. It’s heartbreaking, because I know how close they’ve come to making all of their dreams come true, only to give them all up.

Being a girlboss certainly comes with its challenges. Learning to be self-motivated and manage my time. Learning how to be a leader, mentor and motivator. Learning business and computer skills. Learning to create systems and trainings so that my team can duplicate my success. And learning when to let others fall, because you can’t want something for someone more than they want it for themselves.

But the most valuable lessons I’ve learned about being a successful entrepreneur are the two things I want to share with you. In order to do something others can’t do, namely live a life of complete freedom, you have to be willing to do something others won’t do, and do it consistently. As far as I’ve been able to gather, there are just two secret ingredients to success: Consistency and Fear.

Consistency. Becoming an entrepreneur has less to do with making some grand gesture and much more to do with consistently doing small things, day after day. (Check out “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy) Small things add up over time. Success is the sum of your efforts, so resolve to do a few things each day that will get you closer to your ultimate goal.

Fear. Let me just clarify that by fear, I actually mean Facing Your Fears. Learning to push through your fear and step outside of your comfort zone is absolutely critical to becoming successful. If you allow yourself to be held back by the fear of failure, of what others think or say about what you’re doing, about not measuring up, or about anything else, you will never achieve your dreams. Success requires courage. And it requires total faith in yourself. Perhaps you’ve heard the famous quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it’s not. But if you have faith, the sky is the limit to your success. So step out in faith and do what scares you!

If you’re ready to get started on your very own journey to success or want to know more about joining my team of entrepreneurs, fill out this application and I’ll be in touch!

I have prayed countless prayers about how to regain my hope, my spirit, my passion and, on a deeper level, my relationships and reputation for being a cultivator of change. I’m at a loss. While I have taken the necessary time and energy to pick up the scattered pieces of my personal life and place them, as best I could, back together ~perhaps with a little duck tape and more than a little wine~ my business and public life remain fractured. And I need to address it. There are far more people than I have the ability to explain or apologize to individually, my hope is that this space can become my haven for recompense, for renewal, and for rebirth.

Seven  years ago, my world was turned upside down when I suddenly and unexpectedly became very sick. I suppose that sort of thing is never expected and always sudden. Everything I had worked so diligently for, everything that I was, was taken away from me, piece by piece. I was powerless to do anything more than watch, like the passerby of a horrible traffic accident. It felt surreal. But it was also survival, in its rawest form.

I managed to claw my way out of it, to some extent, for a short period of time. I was over-medicated and undermined, but life went on to a manageable degree. And I became a mother. A prodigious blessing, however unexpected. A life changing event, gift, experience, purpose. But motherhood inflamed, quite literally, my body’s inability to function properly and despite the arsenal of prescription “management”, I quickly became very sick, once again.

I learned a very difficult lesson throughout this season of my life. Well, maybe a few lessons. But the one that has been ingrained most deeply is the dichotomy of being labeled with a chronic illness and not having that label. At the times when I became critically ill, I was still living life without an official diagnosis. And that state of limbo was an arduous place to exist.  It was easy for the people around me to dismiss what was happening to me, to make light of it. From an outside view, I didn’t look sick. I appeared normal, healthy. Only my husband, who shared that formidable space behind the walls of our home, understood how sick I truly was becoming. Without a diagnosis, without a label, most of the people around me simply thought I was being overly reactionary. It was very isolating, and after a time, I grew weary of trying to explain my blank stares, sudden departures and excessive absences. It was just easier to survive within my own hell than to attempt to bring anyone else into it.

For several years, I struggled to be a wife, to be a mother, to get out of bed. But I found saving grace in building a business that allowed me to help other people live healthier lives. I became so fiercely passionate about it, that in some ways, I neglected an already crippled marriage I barely noticed was on the verge of collapse. Until it did.  And once again, my world shifted violently into someplace unfamiliar and unclear. For several months, I tried to maintain the charade of being a professional cultivator of inspiration. But behind the screen of Facebook and Instagram, I was acutely struggling to find my own. And so I made the decision to come clean.

I don’t regret that choice. I am, and always have been, an open book. I believe in being who I am, unapolagetically. But the decision did not come without recourse. During the most intense period of tribulation of my life, I was harshly criticized, judged, insulted. Because of that, I began to withdraw from my business, from social media and even from my personal relationships. I was terrified of the vengeful disapproval. And it was everywhere, about everything that was my life, or what people perceived my life to be.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been the charmed recipient of far more love and support than the latter. And I am so grateful for that. It’s been my anchor. Despite my eternal optimism, I’ve somehow allowed myself to become a victim of the hearsay and judgment. I’ve let it change me, and rob me of the things I worked so hard to reclaim. My health, my relationships, my passion, my vision. But, as we all know, life goes on. We cannot live safely in the past, but rather, we must step through fear into a hopeful future. From this moment, I am leaving the past where it belongs, I’m closing the door on my failures and walking forward in faith. Because there is no other choice. I refuse to throw in the towel.

And so I write this as a letter of apology, as a declaration of betterment, as an oath of restoration.

Life goes on, and we are all the better for that.

.

So much of my blood, sweat and tears have gone into my own personal health journey and, by extension, into creating an environment where I’m able to share in those of others. Aside from motherhood, I’ve shifted my life’s focus to helping women create freedom in their lives; the freedom that comes with good health, entrepreneurship and peace of mind. Every day, I work with women from all walks of life, to design a life that works for them and allows them to thrive. It’s a job that I’m both honored and impassioned by.

And so I thank you for being here. Whether you’ve been following my journey for a while or you’ve just found me through a random search, I am grateful that fate has brought us together and I truly hope that you find some value in such happenstance.

When I first began to put the pieces together for this project, I was admittedly overwhelmed by the magnitude of my vision for it. I have so many ideas and dreams about how I could impact the lives of other women. After much prayer and introspection, I realized that to limit myself was to limit who I would be able to reach. That’s precisely the opposite of my intention, and so I decided to follow my heart, throw caution to the wind and take the leap of faith into absolute uncertainty.

My aspirations are limitless, but as with any dream, we must begin somewhere, to lay the groundwork. I’ve been working as a health & fitness coach for three years and as my own personal focus has shifted toward nutrition and wellness, so has my work. If you’re looking to make a lifestyle change, to get in better shape, to find confidence, to feel better, to improve your quality of life, I can help. Health coaching is the foundation for this project. But behind the scenes, I’m working on so much more. I’m working to share my story, and to hear from other women about Lupus, autoimmunity, healing and hope. I’m working on a book, in addition to this blog. I’m working to spread awareness and education about Lupus, autoimmunity and treatment options for these diseases. I’m planning events and creating a podcast. I’m working to connect with women who want more freedom in their lives. I’m providing mentor-ship, strategic business planning and marketing for women who desire freedom through entrepreneurship. I am doing everything in my power to help you create the life that you wish for and deserve.

If I can help in any way, please reach out by filling out the contact form below.

If you have a story to share about your struggle with autoimmune disease and are interested in connecting, participating in my podcast or helping spread awareness about AI, please fill out the form below.