The month started off with an incredible experience In Washington, DC, when I assisted at the Landmark Forum for the first time. I completed the Forum myself this past may in Los Angeles and it left me totally transformed and completely empowered. I was thrilled to be a part of creating that for a hundred and some other people. I traveled to DC with a very good friend of mine having no real notion of what it would be like to go through the Forum again, in a different role. My commitment was to help cause the space for transformation, but what I got was unexpected, and so much more than what I gave. I also had the privilege of sharing that experience with one of my best friends, Brad, who was participating in the Forum that weekend. It was remarkable to see him grow, transform and take on his life in a way he’d never been able to before. I came back to Pittsburgh with an emboldened sense of freedom, power and love for my life and the people in it. What goes on in those rooms, for those taking the forum and those assisting, is truly indescribable. If you haven’t yet taken the Landmark Forum, I urge you to do it. It will change your life.

A few days after I returned, I celebrated my 37th (yikes!) birthday. The number had far less meaning than the people I spent it with. I had lunch with both of my parents, which was so wonderful. I don’t get to spend time with them very often and to be able to have some one on one time with each of them was a blessing. My son, my love, my best friend and my cousin also celebrated with me. It was a perfect, low-key week with my favorite humans.

My son was lucky enough to be born in the beautiful, busy month of December as well, so I jumped right into party-planning mode. My aunt graciously offered us her home to host a superhero birthday party with all of our friends and family in celebration of Micah’s five years of life. We created a day of fun and gratitude and the day was just that.

And, before we could clean up the cake and pack up the car, it was time to get ready for Christmas. Since the year I was pregnant with Micah, I started putting up the tree around Thanksgiving. It’s just easier to get it done and have it to enjoy in the midst of the December madness. So that was one thing we didn’t have to do. Still, all of the Santa shopping, wrapping, gift making, cookie baking and other holiday necessities needed to be taken care of. So we got to work. Micah and I have made gifts for everyone each year, in part as sentiment and also to teach him the real meaning of Christmas. We’ve made all sorts of ornaments in years past, but these year I decided to step things up and make candles. I enrolled Brandon into helping us since it was such a zealous undertaking. It turns out, we had a knack for it.

After making candles for our family and teachers, B and I decided to start a little candle business. He owns a landscaping company so this time of year, he has plenty of free time. So we went for it, thinking we would sell a dozen or so candles for Christmas and see how things went afterward. To our huge surprise, everyone loved the candles. We had people coming back for more and began scrambling to meet the Christmas demand. It’s been a whirlwind, but completely amazing and so much fun. We are tremendously grateful for how much love and support we’ve gotten with the candles. Each one is made with care and love. To check them out, find us on etsy.

The most extraordinary experience of this magical month was taking a trip to downtown Pittsburgh with Micah, Brandon and Adam, Micah’s father. The four of us spent a wonderful evening together in celebration of our son. Micah and I are so blessed to have two men who love us and who are committed to being a whole and complete family. You can read more about our coparenting Christmas here.

We went to church on the 23rd. It was a powerful and moving service with so much musical greatness. We spent Christmas Eve with both my family and Brandon’s, and awoke Christmas morning to beautiful suprise, snow! I can’t recall the last time we had a white Christmas here in Pittsburgh. It was just the sort of thing to remind us of the true miracle and meaning of the season. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

As we wind down, there are just a few days left in the month, and in the year. It’s been a wild one, with both woe and wonder. And I wouldn’t change a single moment.

~Kristin

My son’s father and I have remained friends. We have no legal custody or child support agreement and, for the most part, have worked together cohesively as parents. My current relationship, however, has been a source of contention for many reasons. As I came to realize the impact this might have on my son, and on his self-esteem, I became determined to do something about it, preemptively.

So, I created a possibility. I squashed the vision I’d had of the baseball game and decided it simply wasn’t acceptable. Instead, I replaced it with a new and powerful vision of a community around my son; one that encompassed all of the people who love him the most working together, being together, on his behalf. This was no small feat. As I said, my ex-husband and current partner have, for lack of a better term, bad blood. There are a number of things at the source of that, each of them insignificant to this story. What there really is to get is that these two men, who both love my child tremendously, could barely engage in two minutes of small talk. Yet, I was committed to creating this community for Micah.

How was I going to do this? The same way I do everything, by enrolling other people in the possibilities I create. I started sharing my vision with these two men. I shared about my fears for Micah, about what I wanted for him and how I thought it was possible, if we were all able to put our love for him above everything else. My partner now was more open, in large part because he’s been in the same work that I have over the past year. Micah’s dad was dismissive, but I was determined to live in my possibility. I kept sharing with him, from a place of love and commitment to our son. And, a few days into December, I got a phone call. It was my incredibly brave, loving, wonderful father, ex-husband telling me that he would like for the four of us to go downtown, to see Santa, a Christmas tradition I had since my own childhood, that I’d started with Micah since birth.

For Christmas, and for Micah’s 5th birthday, we spent a magical night together, as a family.

Merry Christmas, and always remember that anything you can dream up, you can create. 

The holiday season is just around the corner. Or, maybe, it’s been here since October. Either way, this time of year tends to come with quite a bit of stress, obligation and overwhelm. Our kind sentiments and warm, fuzzy feelings get lost in the midst of worry; worry about money, travel, time, energy and just about anything else our minds can conjure up to disrupt our joy. The good news? It doesn’t have to be that way, at all.

I’m committed to living my life in a way that encompasses peace, exudes love and creates power. So I took some time to create a possibility for a truly joyful holiday season within that realm. I’ve come up with some strategies for myself and thought I’d share, in hopes that you all will experience a peaceful and happy holiday, and beyond.

• Get that image doesn’t mean anything. Absolutely nothing. The energy we put into making our homes look perfect, the Pinterest-worthy projects we do with the kids, the gifts we can’t afford…..all of these things are joy suckers. We do them to impress others, while driving ourselves crazy. And broke. And guess what. No one else cares. No one cares how perfect our wreaths look from the street, how much money we’ve spent on their gift or how many times we’ve snapped at our child before taking over their “handmade” teacher gift. YOU are the only one who cares, and you are really robbing yourself of the opportunity to enjoy this time of year. Want peace? Forget to impress!
• Presence, not presents. The holiday season can be a tremendous financial strain for anyone who’s already struggling to make ends meet. Even if money is a non-issue for you, you might be missing the mark on making the most of this holiday season. It’s a busy time of year and, when we’re blessed by abundance, it can be much easier to use our wallets than our hearts to make an impact for others. Generosity is an incredible act, and should be acknowledged. But what really moves people is when we share our most precious resource with them, our time. Instead of spending a fortune on presents, gift the people you love with your presence. It will go a lot further than you can imagine. Take them out for coffee or lunch. Join them for a yoga or pottery class. Grab tickets to a comedy or music show that they’d enjoy. Spend time and love instead of money and see what opens up in those relationships!
• Get creative. Don’t get me wrong. Pinterest is remarkable source of inspiration and handmade gifts are a fantastic way to limit your holiday spending. But there’s something to really get before you go down this road….Pinterest does not have to equal pressure. By all means, seek ideas. But making gifts, even with the kids, should be an enjoyable and satisfying way of sharing a piece of you with someone else. Allow yourself to create something without the concern of how it will turn out or be received. If it comes from the heart, it will be felt that way.
• Commit with care. We tend to overcommit ourselves throughout the year, but even more so during the holidays. In our quest to make the most of the season, to be productive and meet expectations, we say we will do things we simply don’t have the time (or interest) for. Time is our most valuable resource and so we should give it with love, but wisely. This year, try your best to avoid making commitments of this nature. Instead, commit only to things that will bring real value to you and the people around you. Once you’re committed to something, honor your commitments with care and contentment.
• Forget about food. Health & wellness are important aspects of a powerful and effective life. However, food is also an important part of holiday tradition and is often an expression of love. Let go of the need to maintain a rigid nutrition plan and simply allow yourself to be in the moment, enjoying food freely without the worry of guilt.
• Get complete with 2017. We’ve all experienced things this past year that have brought discord or disappointment. Perhaps you’ve been slighted in some regard. Perhaps you’ve lost something or someone important to you. Or, perhaps, things just didn’t go as planned. The truth is that it doesn’t matter. Nothing that’s happened has anything to do with who you are or where you’re going from here. Accept that what’s happened has happened, and be willing to move forward without resentment or regret.
• Create possibilities instead of resolutions. With a new year comes the pressures of getting it right this time around. We resolve to do things differently, or better, in the year to come. The problem is that we are setting ourselves up for failure and, with failure, comes the sense of defeat. And we give up. Instead of making a resolution to do this or not do that, try creating a possibility for 2018. In the realm of possibility, there is no failure or shortcoming. It’s merely about what is possible through action. And the cool thing about possibility is that it’s always possible. What are you going to create for your life in 2018?

When I made the switch to a Paleo diet, the transition came with quite a bit of unexpected awkwardness. I began my wellness journey right before Thanksgiving and soon realized that the holiday season would bring the worst of it. Having to prepare all of my own food, declining the meals lovingly prepared by holiday hosts felt rude to me. I was sure that I was hurting feelings, and that my choices were coming across as pompous or fussy. I hated that, but it was a necessary part of my recovery.

Turning down cookies and pies  and handmade pierogie weren’t the only source of discomfort for me, though. The actual gifts I received my first Christmas since beginning this diet, however thoughtful, were a reminder of how dispiriting that holiday season was for me. My mom bought me some baking items; a rolling pin, measuring cups and spoons. They were beautiful, not your average baking items. The rolling pin was marble. The cups and spoons were a beautiful, hand-painted porcelain. They were a wonderful addition to any kitchen. Except, of course, a kitchen where there were no flours, no sugars, no eggs. The gifts were lovely, but they were a painful reminder of all I’d given up. It would be a long time, if ever, that I’d be able to use them.

It’s been three years since I began treating my Lupus with nutrition, but the holidays continue to be a challenge. I still have to make a lot of my own food, but I’ve been able to navigate some pretty amazing gluten-free/paleo alternatives to help me recreate the magic of the season. But the gift thing can still get tricky. I’ve received things like cookie mixes, pizza stones, etc that I can’t really use. I simply smile, say thank you and find a space in my tiny kitchen for these items to collect dust. Someone asked me last week if I’d like a toaster oven, to which I awkwardly responded “I can’t really eat any foods that could be toasted.” It inspired me to create this gift-giving guide for your gluten free friends and family members.

I don’t mean to come across as ungrateful. The truth is, I’d be happy with no gifts at all. Christmas, for me, has always been about spending time with loved ones and celebrating Christ. My siblings and I are rarely all together, and when we are, its gift enough. But people do feel compelled to buy presents for one another at Christmastime. And I hope that this will help to give you some ideas for the gluten free guys and gals in your circle.

Gifts to Avoid

1. Any food items that are not certified gluten free. Depending on the severity of the gluten allergy or intolerance, cross contamination can be a big deal. If you’re purchasing any food items, be sure to check the labels! If you want to make a gluten free treat for someone, please be extremely cautious of cross-contamination. Clean surfaces before preparing and be sure that no gluten-containing items are nearby.
2. Any kitchen item that a person with gluten-sensitivity will likely not be able to use. Examples: Toaster Oven, Pizza Stone, Waffle Iron, Bakeware, etc.
3. Gift Cards to restaurants that don’t offer gluten-free friendly options. If you’re unsure, call the restaurant to be safe!
4. Cookbooks that don’t include gluten-free recipes.
5. Beer, unless it’s gluten free!

Gifts to Get

1. Gluten Free Baked Goods from your local GF bakery or from Etsy! Try these!
2. Coffees, Teas or Gift Cards for either.
3. Meat & Cheese basket.
4. Fruit Arrangement.
5. Cookware.
6. Sangria Set.
7. Moscow Mule Mugs.
8. Wine.
9. Gluten Free Beer.
10. A CSA subscription! Find one close to you here.
11. A cute tee to support your gluten-free friend or family member. I love this!

A little thoughtfulness goes a long way. Be kind. Be merry.