Creating something powerful in your life requires something distinct from change….Transformation.

Transformation is what occurs when you make a shift in who you are; how you think, act and experience the world. It is only in transformation that you find the source of living by design. So how do you transform yourself? For starters, we need to really get that transformation is not a goal or destination. It isn’t final. It’s an unceasing process, a path of constant growth and awareness. There is no right or wrong way to transform your life, so long as your commitment is to be the best version of yourself and to experience life as freely, joyfully and powerfully as possible.

Here are my suggestions for living a life of transformation.

1. Be accountable. Such a simple concept, yet such a challenge for us human beings. We are consumed by fears of failure or looking bad, so we make excuses and find justifications for every mistake we make. We weave a tangled web of lies, exaggerations and pretexts just to avoid being accountable. Then we make ourselves feel bad, guilty, defensive or even angry. It doesn’t need to be that complicated. It really doesn’t. Consider that all people make mistakes, all the time. You aren’t bad or wrong for missing the mark. There is tremendous power in simply acknowledging it, apologizing for it and moving forward.

2. Say what you mean and mean what you say. There is no freedom in obligation. Many of us live in a state of constant overwhelm because we over-commit ourselves. We say yes when we mean no, and then we hate the world and the people in it for being obligated. We immediately start creating reasons, or excuses, to get out of the things we say we’ll do because we are strapped for time, low on energy and downright cynical. We dismiss our commitments without regard for the impact it has on others, or we fulfill the demands and take out our frustration on those who carry no real blame. It’s a cycle of  mental and physical exhaustion that never ceases. If you want to transform your life, get off of the hamster wheel. Only commit to things you feel called to do and honor your commitments. You’ll feel energized and find a renewed sense of passion.

3. Create your disposition. It’s easy to blame our circumstance for our mood. It’s easy to blame our mood for a thousand other things like meanness, laziness or apathy. Can you see the loss of power here? The truth is that we are always in control of our disposition and, by extension, our corresponding actions. In the face of any life occurrence, we can actually choose to be whatever we want to be. So choose something like content, joyful or grateful and see how the world around you begins to change.

4. Let go of grudges. You’ve heard the expression that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That statement couldn’t be more true. Holding onto grudges is emotionally draining and physically toxic. The stress of emotional baggage can have very real effects on your body and mind. And truth be told, has little to no impact on whoever you’re holding that malice over. Resentment means you get to be right about staying angry, about living powerlessly, about being a victim. Guess where that leads. Nowhere. So let it go. Not for the other person, but for your own freedom. Make a call. Write a letter. Or simply affirm to yourself that you’ve suffered long enough and wish to move forward free of that weight and it’s impact on your life. Declare yourself over it.

5. Stop being obsessed with yourself. Tony Robbins says that the root of all suffering is obsession with self. When you sink into self obsession, meaning that your thoughts are consumed with you, it’s very difficult to feel empowered. Let’s face it, most of us aren’t overly confident with ourselves, so self-obsession shows up as relentless thoughts about our failures, shortcomings and inadequacies. It includes thinks like martyrism and self righteousness. It may even be that little voice telling us that we do so much and aren’t appreciated. We spiral further and further down a rabbit hole that only leads to self loathing, bitterness and ineffectiveness. Where real power and joy exists is in the world around us, and in who we be to others. So get out of your head and start focusing on who you can be to someone else, just for the sake of someone else and without regard for what reward or acknowledgement you may get out of it. Get involved in a charity or fundraiser, befriend someone who’s lonely or take on some random acts of kindness. Stepping outside of your “self” will provide an incredible amount of fulfillment for you. I promise.

For a more personalized approach to powerful living, schedule a free consult with me!

Fritters. They’re what’s for dinner. So let’s get started.

I’m not a veggie lover. BUT, with fritters I figured the more the merrier. This recipe is jam-packed with veggies. You could always substitute, add or leave out some of the veggies based on what you have or any food aversions. But I pretty much threw the kitchen sink into these.

Ingredients:

About 3 cups broccoli, cauliflower & carrot mixture, chopped
2/3 cup fresh spinach, chopped (before cooked)
1/3 cup onion, finely chopped
1-2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup whole wheat flour (or flour of choice)
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 large egg
Salt & Pepper to taste
EVOO for frying
Water for boiling

Yields about 8 fritters.

Instructions:

I started out by boiling the carrots, broccoli & cauliflower for about 4-5 minutes to soften. DO NOT OVERCOOK or they will be hard to work with.

While you wait for those to soften, chop the onion, garlic & spinach and sauté in a tiny amount of EVOO until the spinach is cooked. If you use too much oil, the fritters will not stay together as well, so take it easy!

Place the broccoli, cauliflower & carrot mixture into a strainer and allow to drain thoroughly. Then gently pat dry to remove excess water. Chop the broccoli and cauliflower into small florets and place them in a bowl. Sidenote: I food-processed the carrots, only because my son has a weird thing about carrots and I didn’t have shredded since I used the organic veggie trio above. If you have shredded carrots, there’s no need to food-process them. Just chop along with the broccoli & cauliflower. Throw in the sautéd veggies as well.

At this point, all veggies should be in the bowl.

Next, add the Parmesan, flour and seasons.

Whisk the egg and toss that into the bowl. Mix all ingredients until thoroughly combined.

Heat oil in a non-stick pan over medium heat until it sputters when you flick some water into it (from a distance!!!) Once it’s hot, spoon approximately 1/4 cup of mixture into pan for each fritter. Press lightly to flatten to about 2-2.5 inch wide fritters and cook for about 4 minutes, then flip and cook another 4 minutes (or until golden brown). Then, just serve and enjoy the veggies of your labor!

Recommended Pairing: Grilled White Fish or Salmon, Grilled Chicken.

Right from the start, I had to find a way to satisfy those cravings and trick my mind into thinking it was eating grains. So I started to get creative with my veggies and I’ve found some great ways to get that “grain” sensation. For anyone who is considering making the transition to AIP, I wanted to share my list of go-to grain substitutes. I know how hard it can be to make this change and I want you to succeed with it. So check these out!

Cauliflower Mash: If you’re craving mashed potatoes, try mashed cauliflower! It’s a great side with any meat and very easy to make. Just steam until very soft, then food process! I make mine with ghee and fresh rosemary. If you like sweet potatoes, try this Roasted Sweet Potato & Cauliflower Mash

Cauliflower Rice: This is great for a side or with any dish that would normally call for rice. I use it with Asian dishes all the time! You can use fresh cauliflower and food process to rice-sized pieces or, a lot of grocery stores carry fresh or frozen riced cauliflower in a bag! Just sauté in coconut oil or EVOO. Flavor with ginger, lemon and fresh herbs or just a little salt and garlic! Perfect pairing for any Asian dish or as a side to pretty much anything!

Zucchini Noodles: These are a great substitute for pasta dishes! Use a veggetti or mandolin to slice the zucchini into noodles and sauté in EVOO. These go great with just some EVOO and fresh herbs if you aren’t able to eat nightshades! Or check out this delicious Butternut Squash & Rosemary Cream Sauce. You can also eat these uncooked in a cold “pasta” salad.

Spaghetti Squash: These are so easy to make! When they’re in season, I make them once a week. Just cut in half, bake and shred the flesh! It shreds easily with a fork!

Faux Mein: I buy bags of organic broccoli slaw at Trader Joe’s and they make the perfect Asian noodles. Just sauté in coconut oil until soft. Top with any AIP friendly Asian meat dish! Here’s one of my favorites, Ginger Orange Chicken

Gingerbread Cookies: Treats have to be kept to a minimum on AIP, but we all deserve a cookie once in awhile! These Gingerbread Cookies aren’t exactly AIP, but you can omit the vanilla & cloves and the flavor is still great!

When my family and I made the choice to adopt a healthier lifestyle, one of our biggest worries was how that decision would impact our wallets. We were able to up our grocery budget a little, but we really didn’t want to spend a lot more. We still had a kid in diapers and we’ve been on a mission to pay off debt. So learning to eat healthy on a budget was absolutely critical. Once I started the AI Protocol and began making separate meals for the boys and for myself, learning to save on groceries became even more necessary.

Our very first trip to Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s AND Target to get all of the necessary organics, produce, meats, etc wound up costing us WAY over our usual budget. But it was a good starting point. Over the past year or so, I’ve come up with some cash-saving tips to help us eat healthy for half the cost. We’ve learned to make it work because we had to. If we can do it, YOU can do it. Here’s how!

1. Meal Plan. Creating a meal plan and sticking to it is the easiest way to cut down on spending. By creating a meal plan, and a corresponding grocery list, you eliminate excess spending AND waste. Just make sure you ONLY buy what’s on your list and don’t give in to sales or those tempting treats at the check-out. Tip: Always use one night’s dinner for the next day’s lunch to ensure you’re using up all of the leftovers! Tip 2: There are TONS of free meal plan templates available for download on the internet.

2. Shop in Bulk. Places like Sam’s Club & Costco offer a lot of bulk foods that can be stored until later use. They even carry quite a few healthy ad organic options.

3. Eat eggs. All the time. Eggs are a healthy, inexpensive food that be used in countless ways from a frittata to a cauliflower pizza crust!

4. STOP eating out. All of those pizzas you’re ordering or drive-through runs to McDonald’s?? They’re not just leading you closer to heart failure and diabetes. They’re eating away at your wallet, too! Cut out the crap and start cooking healthy foods. Your body and your bank account will thank you later.

5. Buy produce that’s in season, when it’s cheapest. Or, buy frozen fruits and veggies, which are less expensive than the off-season fresh ones.

6. If you can’t afford to buy all organic, stick to organic for the dirty dozen and buy the rest of your produce at the less expensive rate. What are the dirty dozen? They are the fruits and vegetables that contain the highest amount of pesticide contamination, so you want to avoid that exposure by purchasing organic when possible. Check out this handy chart for reference!

7. Join a Community Supported Agriculture program (or CSA). You can receive a shipment of fresh, organic produce weekly, biweekly or monthly. A lot of CSAs also have bulk meats available for purchase. To find a CSA in your area, go here.

8. Visit your local Farmer’s Market for great deals on fresh fruits and vegetables. Even better? Go shortly before closing time when you can negotiate the prices or find already-reduced items.

9. If you see a theme here about produce, there’s a reason. Vegetables are healthy, versatile and pretty inexpensive. Instead of loading up on expensive meats at the grocery store, add more veggies to your diet. You should be consuming around 5-7 servings of vegetables daily anyway, so here’s another chance to increase your wealth & your wellness!

I hope this helps you as you begin your journey to health & happiness. As always, if you’re looking for a more structured nutrition plan or program with one-on-one support, please feel free to contact me here!

For 25 days now, I have been adhering to a very strict diet known as the AutoImmune Protocol, which is a variation of the Paleo Diet. This diet, along with a number of supplements, has been prescribed to me for an indefinite period of time until my gut heals, my liver detoxes and my blood begins to accept nutrients again on it’s own. This diet excludes ALL grains, dairy (including eggs), nightshades, legumes, nuts, seeds, sugar and alcohol. And let me just say, the struggle has been real.

Once I made it past the initial shock and depression of such a drastic change to my lifestyle (not that I was an unhealthy eater), I started searching for ways to make my food more interesting. Watching other people consume delicious, poisonous foods with no repercussions whatsoever can get a bit overwhelming. I had to overcome my feelings of jealousy and loss somehow, and I knew that experimenting just HAD to lead to some food I could really enjoy.

When I began to plan my first AIP Thanksgiving menu, I was looking for some sides that wouldn’t leave me drooling over everyone else’s plates. I am not a huge fan of sweet potatoes, but in the spirit of tradition, I wanted to incorporate them into the meal. I’m also constantly seeking ways to get my full 9 cups of veggies in daily. And then the idea light bulb went off in my head! What if I added some sweet potato to my cauliflower mash???

I know I’m not the first person to realize this might be a good combination, but I was really excited about how it would turn out. Once it was finished, I was licking the spatula and scraping the sides of my food processor to make sure I got every last drop. It was THAT GOOD.

So, without further ado, here is my recipe!

Ingredients:

1 Head of Organic Cauliflower (Chopped & Steamed)
2 Medium-Sized Sweet Potatoes (Roasted, but microwaved is fine if you’re short on time)
2 Tablespoons Organic Ghee (Or Butter)
Fresh Rosemary & Basil to taste (I use it generously because the flavor is divine!)

Just food process all ingredients until you get the desired texture.
Note: This is a matter of personal preference. The flavor is great whether you prefer lumps or super creamy.

Place in serving bowl and warm in oven until ready to serve (If you can avoid eating it all!)

Enjoy!

Now that we’ve gotten that love fest out of the way, let’s talk cake. Not THAT kind of cake. I’m talking about the kind of cake that honors the perfect union between pig and fermented cabbage. Okay, that doesn’t sound very appetizing, but trust me, IT IS!! It’s like wedding cake, only better. Because these are AIP & Paleo friendly, and healthy enough that you can eat them all!! Or save some for later. Your choice.

Okay, I’m really done this time. On to the cakes.

I have to eat fermented foods daily as a part of my gut healing treatment. I haven’t always been the biggest fan of sauerkraut. But… it’s a superfood with super powers (that’s another story) so I eat it alot. And it really is growing on me. Now that I’ve created THESE, I might even say that I love it. (But not in the same way that pork loves it. I’m not a homewrecker.)

Okay, ok. I now pronounce….Sorry. Here’s the recipe.

Fried Pork & ‘Kraut Cakes
Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

1 lb. High Quality Ground Pork
2 Cups Sauerkraut (drained and patted dry)
1/4 Onion, finely chopped
1 Small Sweet Potato, steamed and mashed
1 tsp Fresh Rosemary, finely chopped
1 tsp Fresh Basic, finely chopped
1 tsp Salt
1/2 cup Coconut Oil for frying.

Directions:

1. Mix all ingredients (except coconut oil) in large bowl until well-mixed.
2. Heat oil in skillet until it sizzles with a sprinkle of water.
3. Form 1 1/2 to 2 inch round balls and flatten.
4. Cook on medium heat for 7-10 minutes per side, or until fully cooked.

Once they’re cooked through, serve hot and crispy! I like to pair these with applesauce and some Roasted Sweet Potato & Cauliflower Mash.

I spent the majority of my adulthood, and part of my adolescence, dealing with unexplained and undiagnosed health issues. I spent countless hours googling, researching and attempting to diagnose myself. I was bounced from doctor to doctor, underwent unending diagnostics, blood work and even surgeries. I never got answers. And I never got better.

I did begin to learn a lot about my body and the likelihood that I was probably suffering from an autoimmune disease. My primary care doctor and two rheumatologists told me that they suspected Lupus, but no one was ready to make a diagnosis. I had symptoms that were atypical to Lupus and more in line with other autoimmune diseases, only those antibodies were not present. Only the Lupus antibodies were present. But I did not receive a diagnosis of Lupus. Only a reassurance that it was possible, even likely, but not certain. Just this scary word, this scary future, being thrown at me. So still, no answers. And without answers, no treatment. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I had an arsenal of meds that only made me feel worse. But there was no clear treatment PLAN. Just a continuously growing list of prescription medications and unexplained symtpoms.

The more I suffered, the more I was forced to become my own advocate. I sought out to learn about autoimmune disease, what causes it and how to treat it. I started to read about the Autoimmune Protocol and it’s ability to reverse these diseases and put symptoms into remission. It seemed far better to me than a life sentence to steroids and poor quality of life. But, it was a drastic change. And without that coveted diagnosis, I wasn’t sure it would be worth it. I didn’t even really know WHAT was wrong with me, so why undertake something that BIG if it may not even work?

I tried to eat healthy, clean food most of the time. It helped, to some degree. But I didn’t understand the scope of what was happening inside my body. I was working out really hard. I was drinking wine regularly. I was staying up way too late. I was putting my child’s needs before my own. I was dealing with ongoing stress triggers. I was spending hours in the sun. I now know that ALL of those things can send autoimmune disease into an out-of-control flare. But I didn’t know that then.

This past year, it all caught up with me and I became sick. Sick is a word I despise. My son walks around pretending to be “sick” and it’s gut-wrenching. Sick is a word that’s used far too often in my home, and it’s a part of our daily lives. I hate that with every ounce of my being.

My body shut down in August. It started to reject everything I put into it, and onto it. It just wouldn’t function. I was lost and desperate. I needed to find answers and, more than that, I needed to find help. I had exhausted all of my options in mainstream medicine, and lost all of my faith that my help would come from there. I prayed for direction. And in the midst of an episode of acute nausea, vomiting, insomnia and incessant googling for answers, I found it.

I filled out an inquiry in hopes that Dr. Cole would see me. Dr. Cole is a Functional Medicine Doctor who specializes in treating unexplained conditions on the autoimmune spectrum. He sees patients across the globe via Skype, but his office happens to be 10 minutes from my house. He takes on only serious cases and only cases that he believes he can treat successfully. I had grown accustomed to being told “I can’t help you” so my expectations were low, but still I had hope.

I got the call back for an evaluation and met Dr. Cole a week later. He was kind and knowledgable. And he LISTENED. He listened to my concerns, he believed them and he understood what they were. He was able to tell me what was happening with my body right away. It was a tremendous relief, until he went over the treatment plan with us and, ultimately, what it would cost. I broke down right there. How could God drag me through all of this, and finally lead me to an answer just to tell me that I couldn’t have it? I wasn’t going to get better, ever.

My husband and I left the office without speaking. I just prayed. I prayed with everything in me that God would provide a way. And He did. After sitting down and looking at our options, we were able to make it happen and I began treatment a few weeks later. I knew that the biggest part of my treatment would be adopting the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP), in addition to herbal supplements, vitamin supplements, natural medicines, fasts, and the like. I was ready, though. I didn’t have a choice.

AIP stands for the Autoimmune Protocol. It’s a variation of the Paleo diet and it’s used to treat Autoimmune disease and conditions on the Autoimmune spectrum. AIP is an elimination diet that excludes any and all foods that cause irritation to the gut. The diet does not allow ANY ALCOHOL, GRAINS, DAIRY, NUTS, SEEDS, LEGUMES, NIGHTSHADES or spices/seasons containing any of the previous. It is not for the faint of heart. But, since nearly all of your immune system lies within the gut, almost all autoimmune response begins their as well. This diet is the only way to HEAL the body rather than masking the symptoms of autoimmune disease, but it can take years to put the body into full remission.

In my case, my gut was so severely permeated that everything I ate caused further irritation and allowed undigested food to leak into the bloodstream. Undigested food is TOXIC to the blood. Blood cells have to work overtime to break those toxins down. This is where my body learned to attack itself. My blood cells were working so hard to combat the constant flow of toxins into the bloodstream that they could no longer distinguish what was healthy and what was unhealthy. They started to attack everything, including other blood cells. Once that faulty process began, it became impossible for my blood cells to properly absorb and transport vitamins, nutrients, hormones, etc. So now I’m left with a number of chronic deficiencies that play out in a number of different ways. In addition, that learned autoimmune response has spread to my stomach, skin cells and possibly other organs as well. The extent of the AI response in my body is unknown.

The AIP diet essentially allows the gut to heal by eliminating irritants and gives the immune system an opportunity to calm down. The hope, of course, is that some foods will ultimately be reintroduced successfully. But there is no guarantee of that and each case is different. As I stated above, the healing process can take years. I am working with Dr. Cole toward a one-year goal of remission. I am doing everything in my power to reach that goal. I began treatment on November 4th and I’m 3 months in. I’ve had quite a few setbacks, and also a few victories. I am making progress, slowly but surely. And I have my eye on the prize. I know that this is the only option for me if I want to be healthy. I know that this is the only path to a happy, fulfilling life. I’m far too young to throw in the towel on health. My husband and son deserve the best version of me and that is what I’m fighting for.

I know that medical science is the prominent source of treatment in today’s world. But medical science failed me. And it’s failing others just like me everyday. Modern medicine is decades behind when it comes to diagnosing and treating autoimmune disease and unidentified AI spectrum conditions. The reason for that is because of it’s model of care. Did you know that much of what is learned in medical school is pharmaceuticals and that pharmaceutical companies actually support a large number of medical schools financially? What are the implications of that? Medical doctors are trained to diagnose a condition based on a clearly indicated list of symptoms, and then match that diagnosis with a corresponding medication. That means that if a person’s symptoms do not fit perfectly into a diagnostic box, they will likely not be diagnosed. At least not easily. Even if said person does happen to receive a diagnosis, it’s likely to be as simplistic and inadequate as the corresponding Rx used to treat it. Medicine should not be aimed at disguising illness, but rather at finding the root cause of the problem and working to heal the body. And medicine should not be one-size-fits-all. Every person, every body is unique. That has never been truer than in dealing with the AI spectrum.

Now that I’ve bored you with that, let’s just bring it back around to WHY I am sharing this. I DID find answers. I found them by going outside of mainstream medicine and seeking a doctor who truly understands the way all bodily systems work in conjunction with one another and how to treat chronic illness as a whole. Not everyone will be able to afford to see a functional med doc, and that’s unfortunate. But there is a movement building and perhaps the American model of care will begin to shift. Until then, there is the Autoimmune Protocol.

AIP can be adopted by anyone at anytime. There is a wealth of knowledge, evidence, insight and resources available on the internet about AIP, how to begin and why. I won’t lie to you and say that it’s an easy change to make. It’s not. It comes with an off-and-on sense of deprivation and isolation. But it carries the promise of a better future, and that makes it worth it.

If you’ve been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, or if you’re dealing with undiagnosed chronic illness or suspect you may fall somewhere on the AI spectrum and are interested in learning more about AIP and how you can fit it into your life, please feel free to contact me.

Many prayers and blessing for health & happiness.

Photo Credit: Krystipher Medellin, https://www.facebook.com/DiamondbackPhotography/.

The Beginning of an End:

So, I haven’t blogged in awhile and I want to address the reasons why. If you know me personally, then it should come as no surprise that I’m writing this. Either way, my hope is that through reading my story, you will take away from it a message. A message about why taking care of your body needs to be a priority in your life. It just has to. Like it or not.

Although I don’t have an official diagnosis, all of my doctors agree that my body is sick. Well, actually, I have a list of diagnoses, but none of them actually explain or justify what’s going on with me. I have what they call “autoimmune response”, which isn’t an official diagnosis, and certainly not one that would justify my health insurance company paying for any of my prescription medications. I have spent the past decade bouncing from doctor to doctor, diagnostic to diagnostic, without ever receiving any affirmation of what is causing my symptoms. All the while, my body’s ability to function, along with my quality of life, has been steadily declining. No one disputes this, yet no one has answers.

I’ve talked about this before on my Facebook page, but I want to mention it here as well, because it’s really important. It’s important because I know a lot of other women who are facing similar struggles, and each of them deserves better than what my experience has been. One of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic illness is the isolation. Any chronic illness comes with the need to withdraw socially. Not by choice, but by necessity. I can’t predict my sickness. I don’t know when a flare will occur, or when an acute episode will strike. Making plans is difficult for this reason, as is keeping the plans I’ve already made.

When you have a label for your disease, a “diagnosis”, people can be sympathetic to this need to withdraw. But without it, a lot of people simply don’t get it. “There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just a hypochondriac” or “She’s making herself sick with that anxiety” or “She’s so unreliable, she doesn’t care about me”. These are the attitudes I’ve been received with far too often. It makes me angry. It makes me angry on behalf of my husband and son who have to live every day with a wife and a mama who isn’t well. It makes me angry for all of the times my husband has had to defend me or explain my absence, for all of the times he’s had to take off work to care for our son because I couldn’t get out of bed, for all of the times my son has pulled on my sleeve saying “mommy, mommy” wanting me to play with him, but I can’t. I want to shout it from the rooftops, if only I had the energy, “This is not my choice. This is not the way I CHOOSE to live.”

But enough about that. It doesn’t matter if it’s a choice or not. This is my life.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I am genetically predisposed for an autoimmune disease. Autoimmune disease is present on both sides of my family. But I don’t technically have one, at least one that has been identified. So why is my body attacking itself?

Here’s where it gets ugly. The truth of the matter is that I have abused my body for a very long time. When I was a teenager, I began to poison my body with cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Good nutrition was non-existent. I ate only foods like pizza, fast food and candy. This continued into my twenties, until I eventually calmed down on the drug use. I continued to smoke cigarettes and eat highly processed foods until I was 30 years old. I had also developed a new habit of drinking energy drinks daily. This lifestyle, combined with my inability to deal with stress, was destroying my body on the inside. But I didn’t know it until it was too late. Or so I thought.

I started to get sick in the Fall of 2010, after I got married. Looking back, it had been one of the most stressful times in my life. Planning a wedding, maintaining a 4.0 in school and a toxic living situation that forced my husband and I to move out of our home for a month, and the stress of it all triggered something in my body that had been underlying for years.

I began to experience nausea everyday. Then I began to experience cognitive issues, like memory lapses and forgetting where I was. Then came the headaches, muscle aches, joint pain. And then, the acute episodes of horrible sickness. And, eventually, the crippling fatigue. Suddenly I could no longer take Micah to the library for an hour without it feeling like I had ran a marathon. It took me days to recover. The simplest things became so difficult for me. I felt like I was 100 years old. Worse, actually. I remember talking with our elderly neighbors and thinking “Why do they feel better than I do? Why do they get to be healthy and have energy?”

But again, enough of that. It doesn’t matter. What matters is this: I am here. I am alive. And I will not give up my fight for a healthier body.

Which is what led me to Dr. Cole, a functional medicine doctor. After spending endless hours of midnight googling, I found Dr. Cole through God’s grace. I’ve received a lot of God’s grace in my lifetime, of this I have no doubt. I began treatment with Dr. Cole only 6 days ago, and I am already feeling a notable improvement. He and I both are confident about my body’s ability to be healed. It’s not an easy road, though. I am on an incredibly strict diet, which is not for the faint hearted. But my will power is solid, because it stands on my only hope for a brighter future for myself and my family.

My biggest struggle recently has been an emotional one. Not so much over having to give up so many things, and not even over the isolation. The struggle comes from my passion to help other people find happiness and health. It is also my job. But how can I do it? How can I lead people to better health when I don’t yet have it myself? Why would someone accept my offer to help them improve their health when I am so sick? How can I possibly do my job?

But the truth, again, is that my story and my sickness make me even more qualified and more motivated to help people work toward better health. I have seen what poor lifestyle choices can do to a body. I’ve lived it! And I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, if I had one. If I can prevent just one person from becoming sick the way I did, then I will consider myself a success.

More and more women are falling victim to chronic digestive issues, chronic pain and chronic fatigue without resolution. Why? Because of the “food” and toxins that we put onto and into our bodies. It could happen to you, and I pray that it doesn’t. But let me help you make sure that it doesn’t! Take control of your health now before it’s too late. I can help you. We can do it together. I invite you to join me on this journey by being a part of my next health & fitness support group run entirely through Facebook. I promise that I will hold your virtual hand, and together we will work towards better health. You don’t have to be on a crazy diet like me, you don’t have to love working out. All you have to do is say yes to a healthy YOU.

Because this post is all about truth, I want to end with this statement: You only get one body, so treat it well.

60 Days Into Treatment:

I’ve spent quite a bit of time this week in reflection of the year past. 2014 was by far the most challenging of my life. I have been struggling with chronic illness for nearly a decade but, in August, I became very sick while at the beach and never really recovered. My health declined steadily and rapidly after that, until daily functioning was more than I could handle.

After many years of being bounced around between doctors, chasing a diagnosis and being labeled a conundrum, my husband and I decided to seek care from a Functional Medicine doctor. Within weeks he was able to determine the cause of my vast array of health issues and determine a course of action.

I am experiencing an autoimmune response of the blood cells in my body, meaning they are too busy attacking themselves to properly absorb vitamins, nutrients, hormones and the like. As a result, I am suffering from a number of deficiencies and all of the side effects that result from those deficiencies. Virtually every part of my body has been affected by this abnormal function of the immune system.

My treatment is holistic, using nutrition and herbal supplements to calm the immune system, heal the gut, detox the liver and replace some of the most extreme deficiencies, such as Vitamin D and Iron, as my body is able to tolerate them. My diet is extremely limited, and I am really only able to eat vegetables (9 cups daily, which is almost impossible) as well as limited meats and fruits. I am unable to eat sugar, grains, dairy, eggs, nuts, seeds, legumes or nightshades. Of course, I began this treatment right before Thanksgiving and have had to recreate all of my holiday meals according to the Autoimmune Protocol. It’s been a true test of my inner strength and willpower. Luckily, I have been permitted a few glasses of holiday wine to combat the sense of deprivation and social isolation.

This treatment, while effective, has been a very slow process with many setbacks. And I am only sixty days in. It’s also come with a powerful emotional element which I did not expect. I experienced a period of mourning when I began the diet. At first, I was mourning the loss of so many foods, but I soon realized that what I was actually mourning was the loss of normalcy, perhaps forever. I could no longer have a meal in a restaurant, or at someone’s home. I felt isolated and abnormal. I was grieving my previous life and learning to accept my new reality. Keeping my eye on the prize is critical. My doc informed me from the start that I was likely looking at a twelve month recovery process to get my symptoms into remission and, even after that, my life would never be the same. He has been amazing, is incredibly supportive and I finally feel that I have someone who will listen to me and help me get healthy. I am incredibly focused on doing everything in my power to heal my body. I have to, for the sake of my family.

Which brings me to the incredible blessings of 2014.

I can think of at least a thousand moments spent with my son that make all of the sickness obsolete. His smile, his laugh, his curiosity and love of knowledge. Watching him learn to speak, dance, sing songs, give kisses. His cuddles and silliness before he falls asleep in my arms. Every single moment spent with him has been a blessing.

And then there’s my husband, the most amazing man God could ever have placed in my life. He has always been my best friend, but this past year has redefined the love I have for him. Through all of the sickness, and every way that it’s impacted our lives, no matter how big or small, he has always made sure I am taken care of and that our son is taken care of. He cooks, cleans, changes diapers, gives baths, does laundry, grocery shops weekly at three different stores to get all of the things I need for my diet. He forgives all of my weaknesses and intolerances, and never loses patience with me. He gets up with our son in the night if he wakes up and every weekend so that I can sleep. He supports me in my work. He stands behind every decision I make. He tells me I’m beautiful when I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth. He tells me I’m a good mom when I’ve been on the couch all day sick. He tells me I’m perfect when I’m anything but. He gives and gives and gives, and never takes. He is so gracious and so kind.

I would never have made it through this past year without my husband, my best friend. As long as I live, I will never be able to express my gratitude for his love and support. I will never be able to repay him. But he is perfectly fine with that. I am truly blessed to have such an strong, selfless man to call my husband.

I am determined to become healthy this year, and to become the mother my son deserves and the wife my husband deserves. I am determined to make 2015 the best year of my life. I am determined to get well and get on with living life.

I am also determined to help as many people as possible live healthier, happier lives. I have been blessed by God to have found a job that allows me to do just that, while still being home with my son and focusing on healing. I had no idea when I became a health & fitness coach that it would become my true calling. But it did. I have lived with the effects of chronic illness, and I have learned first-hand how important it is to take care of the body I’ve been given. I have been blessed, even through this illness, to realize the importance of my work. I will spend this coming year sharing my message and providing people with the tools they need to improve their quality of life and prevent the type of illness that I’m still battling every day.

Diagnosis – 710.0:

Yesterday I saw my Rheumatologist and he gave me something that I wasn’t quite expecting. A diagnosis. I’ve struggled with how to let people know because I have very mixed emotions about it. On one hand, it’s an answer. It’s a concrete, affirmation of everything that’s been going on for the past 20 years of my life. It’s a label, an explanation for why I feel this way. It’s a valid excuse for all of the things that I’d rather not do because they’re too challenging.

On the other hand, though, it’s a label. One that comes with a stigma and a prognosis. And I don’t like that. Partly because I’m a bit of a control freak. Partly because it’s not my style to have limitations put on me. And also because I suppose I’ve had the liberty of living with some degree of denial about how sick my body is. Without that diagnosis, I’ve been able to convince myself (on good days) that I am just a little bit sick. No big deal.

But there it is. I left my doctor’s office yesterday with a piece of paper clearly indicating my diagnosis. 710.0: Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE). Everything has changed. But really, nothing has. Or maybe it’s somewhere in between.

I was shocked when my doctor said the word “Lupus”, but I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it’s because I’ve grown accustomed to not having answers. Or maybe it’s just because I’ve been so focused on healing my body that I really didn’t expect it. But the truth is I’ve heard a number of doctors throw the word “Lupus” at me. It’s been the suspected diagnosis for several years. So why was I so surprised to hear it confirmed? Officially? I don’t know.

It was a strange feeling as I walked out of his office and attempted to digest the news. Earlier in the day, I had been looking at photos from when we took Micah to his first concert, and it made me sad to see how happy and seemingly healthy I was at the time. I thought of that as I walked to the elevator. I was sort of numb, I guess. But part of me felt like the life I once had was gone forever. I got in the car and told my husband. His reaction, I could tell, was the same as mine. There wasn’t much to say. We were just taking it in.

I was glad that we had plans to attend another concert that night at church. I needed a distraction and I needed some spiritual healing. Ironically, or maybe not at all, the theme of the evening was God’s victory over all things. “GOD IS ALWAYS VICTORIOUS.” That’s what I kept hearing last night. I held my son and danced with him and for a moment, everything was perfect. And I knew that I was exactly where I was meant to be at that moment, and in life.

Today is a new day. But I still can’t say it. I haven’t spoken the words “I have Lupus.” In fact, this is the first time I’ve even typed it. I don’t even know what having Lupus means for me.

But I know what it doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean that I will never be well. It doesn’t mean that I will discontinue treatment with Dr. Cole. It doesn’t mean that I will stop focusing on healing my body naturally and improving my quality of life. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’m going to throw in the towel and stop fighting for a long, healthy, fulfilling life with my husband and son. I have so much love and support and a God that is always victorious. I’ve got all I need for a win.

I have Lupus. But I’m still me. I’m still a fighter. And I still have plenty of living to do.

I have Lupus. But Lupus does not define me. And it never will.

Update:

Wow. It’s hard to believe that six months have passed since I began my treatment with a Functional Medicine Doc. Its amazing to look back and see what I was able to accomplish and how much progress I’ve made in healing my body. But it hasn’t been easy.

I have to admit that the first three months were very difficult. I started the AI Protocol just a couple of weeks before the holiday season. I had to navigate my way through Thanksgiving, my son’s birthday party and several Christmas get-togethers without being able to eat any of the foods that were being served.

Thanksgiving was very difficult, because my family didn’t really understand or support the choices I was making with my health. I chose to stay home and make my own turkey and fixings, which went surprisingly well for my first time! I was pretty proud of my little turkey

The tension with my family grew, and my sister took it personally that we had chose to miss Thanksgiving because it was just too difficult to make it work on our end. She refused to come to my son’s birthday party and decided that she would not allow me to see her two children either. I was incredibly hurt, and couldn’t really understand why she was so angry with me. But I had to accept it. When Christmas rolled around, things became extremely stressful and the progress I had made up to that point was lost. My body doesn’t react well physically to severe and chronic stress. I spent the majority of the month of December being very sick again.

January was a welcome change. I committed to taking better care of myself mentally and emotionally, and separating myself from the things that were keeping me from getting better. I was excited for a new year, a fresh start for my family, my health and my business, all of which had suffered over the months prior. I did have a few more setbacks from the extreme cold, but I continued to stick to my treatment and power through. Once the cold weather broke, I started to feel much better. Almost normal!

At the 6 month mark, I underwent a fully comprehensive food intolerance test to determine what I may be able to reintroduce into my diet. I was really nervous because I knew that there would be some things that I wasn’t tolerating that I’d have to eliminate. But I was hopeful for some new additions and had my eye on a few things in particular; tomatoes, cheese and Shakeology, of course!

When my doc called to go over the results with me, I was like a kid at Christmas! I did have to eliminate a few staples in my diet, like onions, broccoli, ginger and bananas (Wha?!? I LOVE bananas!!) But the news overall was great! I am now able to have tomatoes and all other nightshades, including spices! I can also have CHEESE!!! I wanted cheese so bad, but didn’t have much hope for it, so it was fantastic to hear that it was a yes! And the biggest victory of all, for me, was getting the green light on Shakeology! Because it contains quinoa and goji berries, two things I wasn’t able to have initially, I had to forgo it for 6 whole months. My energy levels, my hair and fingernails and my digestive tract were desperate for that superfood goodness! So being able to reintroduce Shakeology was a HUGE victory. Since then, I’ve been able to successfully reintegrate a lot of foods into my diet on a “sometimes” basis. I still stick mainly to a paleo diet and do regular fasting to maintain gut health.

When I look back at my life right before I began this treatment, I had very little hope. My body was rejecting nearly every food I put into it. I spent several days a week curled up on the couch, too nauseated to move, unable to function. My son was the only thing giving me the will to live. I wondered if I would be forced to live the rest of my life in such misery.

Today, my life is completely different. It’s not perfect. I’m living with a chronic illness that will forever dictate the way I live my life. But I’m learning to give my body the nourishment, love and respect that it deserves. And I’m working hard to share that knowledge and that hope with other people who are battling Autoimmune Disease. I feel better physically and stronger mentally. And I have grown to see this illness as a blessing because of the opportunity it’s given me to connect with other people and help them to make their health a priority as well.

I am so grateful for all of the love, support and prayers I have received from all of you out there since I began this journey to wellness. If you are struggling with AID or any chronic illness, please feel free to reach out to me for information or support.

All my love,
Kristin

I’ve been making a ton of Zoodles lately, just because it’s so easy to grill some chicken or shrimp in the summer months and just toss it in with the zucchini noodles. But it’s a bit cold for grilling and I felt like switching things up, and since the only veggies I had on-hand were zucchini (of course), tomato and onion….I decided to toss them together in a casserole. The result was ahhh-mazing. So good, in fact, that my veggie-hating 2 year-old had 3 big helpings. Must’ve been all the butter. But butter is a clean food, my friends. Do NOT fear the butter!!

Okay, here’s the recipe.

Ingredients
Prep Time: 20 Minutes. Cook Time: 55 Minutes.
Serves 4.

2 Medium-Sized Zucchini, Sliced into rounds.
2 Large Tomatoes, Sliced (I just pulled some from the garden)
1/8 Cup Onion, Finely Chopped
2 Cloves Garlic, Minced
1 Teaspoon Fresh Oregano, Finely Chopped
1 Teaspoon Fresh Basil, Finely Chopped
1 1/2 Cups Cheddar Cheese, Shredded or Grated
1/3 Cup Parmesan Cheese, Grated
3/4 Cup Gluten Free Bread Crumbs (I used Gutino, which you can find at Whole Foods, Target or even Big Lots)
Salt & Pepper to Taste

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly butter a 9×9-inch pan.
2. In a large bowl, combine Cheddar, Parmesan, oregano, basil, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper, and set aside.
3. Arrange half of the zucchini slices in the pan. Sprinkle 1/4 of the cheese and herb mixture on top. Arrange half of the tomatoes, and top with another 1/4 of the cheese mixture. Repeat layers.
4. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in onions, and cook until soft and translucent. Stir in breadcrumbs; cook until they have absorbed the butter. Sprinkle on top of casserole.
5. Cover loosely with foil, and bake in a preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake until the top is crusty and the vegetables are tender, about 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

Okay, onto it.

This recipe is a bit involved. I typically keep my meals quick and easy because I’m a busy, working mom. But occasionally, I feel like I deserve a little something special. This is one of those special meals.

Zoodles with Butternut Squash & Rosemary Cream Sauce
Prep Time: 10 Minutes Cook Time: 1 Hour
Serves 4-6

Ingredients:
1 Butternut Squash, Medium-sized
3 Tablespoons Ghee ((or Coconut Oil for Paleo))
1 Onion, Medium-sized, Chopped
2 Cloves of Garlic, Minced
3-4 Large Zucchini, Spiralized (I prefer the thicker setting on the Veggetti, like fettuccine)
1 Pound Mushrooms, Chopped. (Shitake or Baby Bella are good)
2 Tbsp Fresh Rosemary, Finely Chopped
1 Cup Coconut Milk (Full-Fat only)
1/2 Cup Chicken Broth (I use my own bone broth!)
Salt & Black Pepper to Taste

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Slice butternut squash in half lengthwise. Grease a baking sheet with 1 tablespoon of coconut oil and lay butternut squash (flesh-side down).
3. Roast for 30 – 45 minutes, until squash is tender and flesh can easily be pierced with a fork. Once it’s fully cooked, allow squash to cool, then scoop out the flesh (this should yield about 5 cups of flesh) and discard the skin. Add flesh to a blender.
4. Add 1 tablespoon of coconut oil or ghee to a pan over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic and saute for 3 – 5 minutes, until onion is translucent.
5. Next, add the sauteed garlic & onions, rosemary, coconut milk, broth, and salt to the blender with the squash. Blend until smooth.
6. Add the remaining tablespoon of coconut oil/ghee to a large pan. Add the mushrooms and saute for about 2 minutes, until they are just starting to brown. Then add the zoodles and cook for about 3 minutes, until almost tender. Add the sauce to the pan and continue to cook until sauce is hot and zoodles are tender.

Add salt & pepper to taste and serve hot.

Enjoy!