This time of year, the beaches are quiet with mostly locals walking alongside the breaks or enjoying sunset. It’s easy to spot the vacationers, bogged down and still attached to that world of overwhelm. A family of five, husband dragging the entirety of their beach necessities – umbrella, chairs, towels, boards, beach bag, toys and plenty more – lags far behind the rest. The children, all boys, have already made their way into the water as their mother calls for their extraction, they haven’t’ got their sunscreen yet. She hurriedly sprays each one and off they go. 

As her husband approaches with the impossibly manageable cargo, she takes a chair from his hand without even a thank you. She sunscreens herself, asking for his help with her back – again, without a thank you – and disappears behind the screen of a phone, oblivious to her husband, her children and to the beauty of what surrounds her. He tiredly unloads and makes his way with a football to play with the kids. They play for ten minutes or so, as laughter couples beautifully with the sound of crashing waves. Mother never looks up. After what I imagine to be as much energy as he could muster, dad retires to the sand without so much as a towel beneath him and falls asleep. The children make their memories and I begin to ponder.

I imagine how tired these parents must be. Tired from the long road they traveled from wherever they came from to be here. Tired from whatever jobs they have back home. Tired from raising three young boys. Tired from the housekeeping and yardkeeping and everything else. I relate to this. Every parent does. We juggle so much, stretch ourselves far too thin, survive on coffee and spend most days feeling like it’s never enough. 

But here, on this island, is respite from all the ways of the world. Here and now is an opportunity, however brief, to be present and to merely enjoy the people we are privileged enough to call family. If we cannot access it here, what hope do we have of ever really living life? We can though, if we pause and choose it.

This woman I watch could have recognized that her husband was just as tired and helped him carry the load down to the water, or at least acknowledged him for his strength and dedication to his family. Perhaps if she did, he would offer her some praise or moment of emotional connection, something she’s been desperately trying to substitute with social media scrolling. Perhaps if they showed one another love, affection, gratitude – they may enjoy this time away from the life that’s left them empty and resentful and return with a renewed sense of wonder. Instead, they remain quiet and distant, as if they are alone on two different islands.

I say a silent prayer, hoping that they find the rest and the joy and the treasure in their time here and that they find a way to take a bit of that back to wherever home is. I remind myself how important it is to take time to fill my own cup, to be present with my child and not miss the fleeting moments of his laughter, and to cherish my husband for all that he does for our family.

Guilt kills. Not literally, of course. But it does kill your spirit, confidence, effectiveness and connection with others. So it’s no wonder that human beings work diligently to avoid guilt. We lie, deny, justify, shift blame, invalidate and do a hundred other things to NOT feel guilty.

Here’s the problem. Guilt is a feeling that lingers and eats away at us. It doesn’t serve us in any way. To feel guilt is to carry the weight – and shame – of the past into the present. Intuitively, we know that doesn’t serve us and we resist being labeled as guilty, or to blame. But in the process, we fail to OWN what we have to own.

Ownership is not the same thing as guilt. Ownership actually does serve us. It allows us acknowledge that we’ve made a mistake, caused someone hurt or disappointment and provide closure for ourselves and others. Imagine how it feels when someone hurts you and refuses to accept responsibility for that. It makes us feel worse. We hold a grudge and develop resentment. We lose trust. And, if it continues, we lose relationships.

It’s important to understand the distinction between guilt and ownership, instead of collapsing the two. No one wants to carry guilt, or the shame that’s attached to it. And we shouldn’t. But we absolutely should be responsible for and own up to the moments when we hurt someone or let someone down. When we own that, we acknowledge that something we did or did not do left someone else feeling bad. In the moment we own it, it gets complete. And even if it comes back up again, meaning that something triggers the memory of that hurt for someone – just simply acknowledging it again instead of denying it, defending it or justifying it, makes all the difference and creates a clear and open space for the relationship.

Your power is in your ownership, not in pretending you’re perfect. You’re not fooling anyone anyway.

In summary, own your shit – then everyone can release it and move on. <3

When we focus on ourselves, we can easily gather all the evidence we need not to care about responsibilities, expectations, our own hopes and dreams and, worst of all, one another. Every time something doesn’t go as planned, we’re confronted with adversity or another human being hurts us, we’re faced with the temptation to say “screw it” and throw in the towel. Give up. On our jobs, our families, our relationships and our own aspirations. But to respond to circumstance with apathy is really just a mask for cowardice. You’ve been hurt, disappointed, let down, failed and you don’t want to risk facing that again. It’s EASIER to walk away, to dismiss that responsibility, that goal or that person and just give up.

APATHY = FEAR.

Human beings weren’t meant to be disconnected from one another. We are social creatures, dependent on community. We do not thrive, or even survive, in isolation. Yet apathy is a psychological tool we use to separate ourselves from one another. And it’s completely inauthentic. Inherently, human beings long for love, acceptance and socialization with other humans. But that isn’t possible with apathy. It’s only possible with empathy.

Empathy is the ability to step outside of your own thoughts, emotions, experience, expectations and “needs” and to put yourself into the mindset of another human being. To really GET that your reality is only yours and that people have their own perception and experience. And that each is valid. Empathy is giving up the need to be right or heard or validated and being committed to understanding someone else. It’s allowing someone the grace, tolerance, acceptance, patience and forgiveness they need in their humanness. It’s having the courage to keep moving forward knowing you may be hurt or let down or fail, but that the privilege to simply BE with another human being, sharing their time and space, contributing to their life and gaining in return, is well worth the risk. Empathy is embracing your innate connection to other human beings absent of expectation or fear. It creates a space for you to be your authentic self and for others to be theirs. And THAT is a powerful place to come from.

Stop giving up on your responsibilities. On your dreams. On the people you care about. Life is hard and messy, that’s the price we pay for being alive. Toss out your drawer full of apathy and try on something new. EMPATHY = LOVE.

Inaction, or misguided action, shows up in all sorts of ways as a mechanism of fear, or defense. Staying where we are, even if it’s miserable and unfulfilling, seems safer to us than stepping outside of our comfort zone and into unfamiliar action. Let’s look at some of the ways that this survival mechanism presents itself in our lives.

• Excuses or justifications. This is a powerful form of inaction in which we seek, or even create, reasons why we are not taking action to reach our goals. This can be anything from time, energy, money or any other resource constraint. It can also come from an emotional constraint such as feelings of powerlessness, victimization or some residual trauma of a life event. Whatever the source, it’s important to get that there is no circumstance that has the actual power to stop you from being in action. It may feel that way, but I promise that feeling is merely your defense mechanism in action, rather than you.
• Procrastination. This is such an insidious form of inaction. You’re tired, busy, and don’t feel like doing it. Seems valid, but you just keep telling yourself the same story to avoid taking action. There will never be a perfect time to take action. It is critical to understand that the voice of procrastination inside your head is not actually yours. Again, it’s that mechanism working to keep you stuck in that safe space, however unpleasant it may be. When you recognize that you’re being dictated by a malicious machine inside your head, you can take an empowering stance to ignore it and take that action instead.
• Martyrdom. By doing things for others, filling our schedules with volunteer work or investing too much of our energy into other people’s problems, we feel validated in our noble sacrifice. Yet this too can be a way in which we avoid being responsible for our own lives. We all take pleasure in helping others and it’s an important role for a healthy society, but be mindful of how this can show up as a misguided action, pulling your energy away from your personal goals.

Once you identify these methods of inaction in your own life, you can begin to operate outside of them. Here are a few tips to help you step into action powerfully.

• Acknowledge the ways in which inaction is showing up in your life. Share them with others to keep yourself accountable to a new way of being in action.
• Make a list of what needs done and get to work. Commit to 2-3 things daily. It helps to create a reward system for yourself. If you complete your list, allow yourself an hours worth of tv time or a manicure!
• Break it down. If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of change, and it seems impossible, break it down into small daily actionables. What is one thing you can do each day to get you closer to where you want to be? Do that.
• Stop using the word “but.” Using the word “but” comes with an inherent limitation. Instead, replace it with “and.” Using the word “and” distinguishes one statement from another, creating a space for possibility and power.

At the end of the day, no matter your circumstance, taking action is the only way to create change.

• Leave the past where it belongs, behind you. We have a tendency to hang on stuff we don’t really need. Experiences and emotional pain are certainly no exception. The truth is that we have no reason to hang onto the things that have hurt us before. If it isn’t happening right now, then it has no real power of us. Forgive. Accept. Close the door. Declare that the past has no place in your present.
• Unclutter your space. Just as we tend to hang onto past experiences, we also love to junk up our lives with things we don’t need and that don’t serve us. Get rid of anything that isn’t bringing you peace or joy, or that distracts you from your passion and purpose in life. Donate your extra clothes to a shelter. Sell your gaming system and put the cash in your savings account. Clean off your desk at work. Having a clear space allows for better focus and more inner peace.
• Heal yourself. Most of us are guilty of neglecting ourselves in the form of our mental and physical health. If you’re not 100%, it’s difficult to be effective in any area of your life. Commit to caring for your body and mind. Eat healthy foods, drink water, move your body, meditate, get enough sleep. Do all of the things your body wants you to do, for you.
• Guard your energy. Toxic people are everywhere and misery loves company. Avoid getting caught up in drama, gossip or negative conversations. Instead, take control of your surroundings and gear the conversation towards positive, uplifting and empowering dialogue. It’s amazing how much power you have to influence how other people think and experience the world.
• Serve others. We are a self-obsessed society, and in almost all situations, we consider what we’re getting out of it. Take a different perspective and get present to what you can give to others in every waking moment. Help out a coworker, carry someone’s groceries, volunteer for a non-profit or shovel someone’s driveway. When you seek to help others without personal gain, you end up getting more than you give in the form of joy, fulfillment and connection.
• Be a team player. Remember self-obsession? We really need to work on this one. Whether you’re part of a company, a family, a sports team or just a part of society, being a team player is a critical skill if you want to live powerfully. No man is an island. Take time to listen and consider other people’s feelings and perspectives. Don’t interrupt. Don’t shut down ideas. Don’t criticize. Create a space for healthy, open communication and collaboration. When we work together, anything is possible.
• Stop complaining. Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? Well, it works, for better or worse. If you speak negativity, you will attract negativity. It’s that simple. Ever feel like you just keep getting slammed by life? It’s probably because you’re complaining, and you’re giving off a magnetic vibe that’s pulling more bad juju your way. So rather than complaining about what’s going wrong, take charge of your life. Control the controllable and think positive thoughts only.
• Affirm yourself and others daily. The power of positivity is remarkable. Start each day with positive affirmations to yourself about who you are, what you’re going to accomplish and what your life is going to be about. And don’t stop there. You really do have the power to impact the people around you and create a circle of positivity. We all love to acknowledged for who we are.  A genuine compliment goes a long way in making someone feel empowered and confident. So let the good vibes flow.
• Trust more, not less. Us humans spend so much time being fearful. We’re afraid of taking risks in our relationships, in our careers and in our passions. And, because we give that fear power over us, we actually stop ourselves from doing what we really want to do in our lives. This year, punch fear in the face. Do what you’re afraid of. Trust yourself, trust your instincts, trust the process, and trust others. The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work out. But you’re tough. You’ll survive. I promise.
• Get back up. In the face of failure, remember that there is no failure. We fall down. Things don’t go as planned. So what? That’s part of the journey. It’s lessons learned and experience gained. As long as you get back up and keep moving forward, you’ll get there.
• Live your purpose. You know that seed in your heart that’s been there for as long as you can remember? That thing that makes your heart happy and sets your soul on fire? That thing is your purpose. It exists within you because you are meant to do it. So go do it. Without fear. Without hesitation. Without excuses.
• Practice gratitude. The simple act of counting your blessings daily energizes you more than you can imagine. Far too often, the amazing things in our life go unnoticed. We are distracted, overwhelmed and exhausted. Take a few minutes each morning to look at all you’ve been gifted.
• Smile often. Smiling actually burns calories, helps you look younger, improves your mood and creates a space where others feel safe and happy as well. Smiles are contagious and powerful, and universal. A smile can change the world, truly. So smile as often as possible.
• Be Happy. Happiness isn’t in in the past or the future. It isn’t found in success or wealth. Happiness is yours for the taking, right now and in this moment. Choose to be happy, regardless of your circumstance. Because, chances are, at this very moment, everything is just fine. And even if it’s not, the next moment is just around the corner.

Yet, I think the piece of this puzzle most of us seem to miss is that in order to create something new, we need to get complete with what’s in the past. Otherwise, we carry it with us, unknowingly, and it keeps us from truly being able to move forward freely and powerfully. It’s kind of like carrying an invisible suitcase filled with bad memories, bad experiences and bad karma. We drag it around, it becomes heavier and heavier, and we don’t even know it’s there, so how can we put it down?

As we step into the final hours of another year passed, I encourage you to take a look at what’s in your suitcase and, piece by piece, lay it down. Is there someone you’ve been withholding forgiveness from? An estranged relationship? Maybe even a nagging grudge with a neighbor or coworker? Have you been struggling with insecurity in some area of your life?  Perhaps laziness or procrastination over starting something or handling something? These sorts of things fester in the background of our thoughts and, if we don’t acknowledge them and their utter lack of power over who we really are and what we are really capable of, they start to become a part of us. We can no longer act separately from that piece of who we’ve become.

Make a phone call. Apologize, even if it’s to yourself for something you’ve been feeling guilty over. Reach out. Declare forgiveness. Declare the past in the past, whatever it is and however painful. Declare that it’s gone and holds no power over you. And, once you’ve laid all of that heavy baggage down, declare a new possibility for yourself and your future. Who you’re going to be. What you’re going to accomplish. What you want your life to stand for.

Here’s a tip. The sky is the limit.

The holiday season is just around the corner. Or, maybe, it’s been here since October. Either way, this time of year tends to come with quite a bit of stress, obligation and overwhelm. Our kind sentiments and warm, fuzzy feelings get lost in the midst of worry; worry about money, travel, time, energy and just about anything else our minds can conjure up to disrupt our joy. The good news? It doesn’t have to be that way, at all.

I’m committed to living my life in a way that encompasses peace, exudes love and creates power. So I took some time to create a possibility for a truly joyful holiday season within that realm. I’ve come up with some strategies for myself and thought I’d share, in hopes that you all will experience a peaceful and happy holiday, and beyond.

• Get that image doesn’t mean anything. Absolutely nothing. The energy we put into making our homes look perfect, the Pinterest-worthy projects we do with the kids, the gifts we can’t afford…..all of these things are joy suckers. We do them to impress others, while driving ourselves crazy. And broke. And guess what. No one else cares. No one cares how perfect our wreaths look from the street, how much money we’ve spent on their gift or how many times we’ve snapped at our child before taking over their “handmade” teacher gift. YOU are the only one who cares, and you are really robbing yourself of the opportunity to enjoy this time of year. Want peace? Forget to impress!
• Presence, not presents. The holiday season can be a tremendous financial strain for anyone who’s already struggling to make ends meet. Even if money is a non-issue for you, you might be missing the mark on making the most of this holiday season. It’s a busy time of year and, when we’re blessed by abundance, it can be much easier to use our wallets than our hearts to make an impact for others. Generosity is an incredible act, and should be acknowledged. But what really moves people is when we share our most precious resource with them, our time. Instead of spending a fortune on presents, gift the people you love with your presence. It will go a lot further than you can imagine. Take them out for coffee or lunch. Join them for a yoga or pottery class. Grab tickets to a comedy or music show that they’d enjoy. Spend time and love instead of money and see what opens up in those relationships!
• Get creative. Don’t get me wrong. Pinterest is remarkable source of inspiration and handmade gifts are a fantastic way to limit your holiday spending. But there’s something to really get before you go down this road….Pinterest does not have to equal pressure. By all means, seek ideas. But making gifts, even with the kids, should be an enjoyable and satisfying way of sharing a piece of you with someone else. Allow yourself to create something without the concern of how it will turn out or be received. If it comes from the heart, it will be felt that way.
• Commit with care. We tend to overcommit ourselves throughout the year, but even more so during the holidays. In our quest to make the most of the season, to be productive and meet expectations, we say we will do things we simply don’t have the time (or interest) for. Time is our most valuable resource and so we should give it with love, but wisely. This year, try your best to avoid making commitments of this nature. Instead, commit only to things that will bring real value to you and the people around you. Once you’re committed to something, honor your commitments with care and contentment.
• Forget about food. Health & wellness are important aspects of a powerful and effective life. However, food is also an important part of holiday tradition and is often an expression of love. Let go of the need to maintain a rigid nutrition plan and simply allow yourself to be in the moment, enjoying food freely without the worry of guilt.
• Get complete with 2017. We’ve all experienced things this past year that have brought discord or disappointment. Perhaps you’ve been slighted in some regard. Perhaps you’ve lost something or someone important to you. Or, perhaps, things just didn’t go as planned. The truth is that it doesn’t matter. Nothing that’s happened has anything to do with who you are or where you’re going from here. Accept that what’s happened has happened, and be willing to move forward without resentment or regret.
• Create possibilities instead of resolutions. With a new year comes the pressures of getting it right this time around. We resolve to do things differently, or better, in the year to come. The problem is that we are setting ourselves up for failure and, with failure, comes the sense of defeat. And we give up. Instead of making a resolution to do this or not do that, try creating a possibility for 2018. In the realm of possibility, there is no failure or shortcoming. It’s merely about what is possible through action. And the cool thing about possibility is that it’s always possible. What are you going to create for your life in 2018?

Creating something powerful in your life requires something distinct from change….Transformation.

Transformation is what occurs when you make a shift in who you are; how you think, act and experience the world. It is only in transformation that you find the source of living by design. So how do you transform yourself? For starters, we need to really get that transformation is not a goal or destination. It isn’t final. It’s an unceasing process, a path of constant growth and awareness. There is no right or wrong way to transform your life, so long as your commitment is to be the best version of yourself and to experience life as freely, joyfully and powerfully as possible.

Here are my suggestions for living a life of transformation.

1. Be accountable. Such a simple concept, yet such a challenge for us human beings. We are consumed by fears of failure or looking bad, so we make excuses and find justifications for every mistake we make. We weave a tangled web of lies, exaggerations and pretexts just to avoid being accountable. Then we make ourselves feel bad, guilty, defensive or even angry. It doesn’t need to be that complicated. It really doesn’t. Consider that all people make mistakes, all the time. You aren’t bad or wrong for missing the mark. There is tremendous power in simply acknowledging it, apologizing for it and moving forward.

2. Say what you mean and mean what you say. There is no freedom in obligation. Many of us live in a state of constant overwhelm because we over-commit ourselves. We say yes when we mean no, and then we hate the world and the people in it for being obligated. We immediately start creating reasons, or excuses, to get out of the things we say we’ll do because we are strapped for time, low on energy and downright cynical. We dismiss our commitments without regard for the impact it has on others, or we fulfill the demands and take out our frustration on those who carry no real blame. It’s a cycle of  mental and physical exhaustion that never ceases. If you want to transform your life, get off of the hamster wheel. Only commit to things you feel called to do and honor your commitments. You’ll feel energized and find a renewed sense of passion.

3. Create your disposition. It’s easy to blame our circumstance for our mood. It’s easy to blame our mood for a thousand other things like meanness, laziness or apathy. Can you see the loss of power here? The truth is that we are always in control of our disposition and, by extension, our corresponding actions. In the face of any life occurrence, we can actually choose to be whatever we want to be. So choose something like content, joyful or grateful and see how the world around you begins to change.

4. Let go of grudges. You’ve heard the expression that resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That statement couldn’t be more true. Holding onto grudges is emotionally draining and physically toxic. The stress of emotional baggage can have very real effects on your body and mind. And truth be told, has little to no impact on whoever you’re holding that malice over. Resentment means you get to be right about staying angry, about living powerlessly, about being a victim. Guess where that leads. Nowhere. So let it go. Not for the other person, but for your own freedom. Make a call. Write a letter. Or simply affirm to yourself that you’ve suffered long enough and wish to move forward free of that weight and it’s impact on your life. Declare yourself over it.

5. Stop being obsessed with yourself. Tony Robbins says that the root of all suffering is obsession with self. When you sink into self obsession, meaning that your thoughts are consumed with you, it’s very difficult to feel empowered. Let’s face it, most of us aren’t overly confident with ourselves, so self-obsession shows up as relentless thoughts about our failures, shortcomings and inadequacies. It includes thinks like martyrism and self righteousness. It may even be that little voice telling us that we do so much and aren’t appreciated. We spiral further and further down a rabbit hole that only leads to self loathing, bitterness and ineffectiveness. Where real power and joy exists is in the world around us, and in who we be to others. So get out of your head and start focusing on who you can be to someone else, just for the sake of someone else and without regard for what reward or acknowledgement you may get out of it. Get involved in a charity or fundraiser, befriend someone who’s lonely or take on some random acts of kindness. Stepping outside of your “self” will provide an incredible amount of fulfillment for you. I promise.

For a more personalized approach to powerful living, schedule a free consult with me!

Living a life without passion or purpose isn’t really living at all, is it? But how do we overcome that boredom that creeps not into our lives, but into our hearts? Simple. By keeping things fresh. By keeping ourselves busy. But not busy for the sake of being busy. We need to fill our time and space with things that renew our sense of joy, adventure and accomplishment.

Like anything else in this modern age, there are limitless options. But here’s a good starting point.

In Seeking Solitude

• Read a book. Spirituality, Personal Development, Romance, or even Horror. Find a quiet spot, get comfortable and get lost in the pages of a good book.
• Do some yoga. Even ten minutes of yoga can do wonders for the body, mind and spirit. Work up a sweat, get balanced and clear your mind of all your responsibilities.
• Organize. So much of our lives can feel out of control. Taking time to organize an aspect of your life can be both freeing and empowering. Spice rack? DVD collection? Dresser drawers? Taking on an organizational project will make you feel accomplished and less stressed.

In Seeking Knowledge

• Learn a foreign language. Always wanted to visit Paris? Start learning French. It will give you a new skill set and bring new life to your dream of traveling.
• Take a class. Anything from pottery making to the philosophy of time, enrolling in an education course can expand your knowledge base and give you an opportunity to meet some new people.
• Connect with a stranger. Strike up a conversation or arrange an interview with someone who’s life experience is likely to differ from your own. This is a great way to learn about other cultures, time periods and perspectives.

In Seeking Adventure

• Choose an activity that challenges or scares you. Skydiving and white water rafting are extremes, but even a short hike or taking a motorcycle driving class can be hugely fulfilling and empowering. Looking for something more regular/ How about taking a martial arts class to keep your blood flowing and build self-disicpline?!
• Plan a trip to someplace you’ve never been. If you’re on a tight budget, find an inexpensive room on Airbnb.
• Build something without building plans. An herb garden, a homemade wine rack or some shelves to display that collection of antique spoons you’ve had shoved in a drawer for years. Using blueprints is okay, if it makes you anxious to go it on your own. But getting creative, trusting your own judgment and making something that is uniquely representative to you can be fun and rewarding.

In Seeking Friendship

• Join a team or league. It’s easy to find ourselves overly committed to family and coworkers, but friendships are an important part of our social nature. Signing up for a local softball team or bowling league can provide a regular break from the responsibilities of our home and work lives and allow us to relax and enjoy some time with others.
• Volunteer. There are so many organizations doing amazing work for the community. But virtually all of them are under-resourced. Volunteering your time in a food bank, soup kitchen or children’s camp can help you build new relationships with people and gain a sense of purpose over your life.
• Find a pen pal. Seems unheard of, right? Actually, there are quite a few legitimate pen pal websites that help you connect with people all over the world. Make a new friend in a safe and supportive space and who knows, you may find your new BFF.

In Seeking Romance

• Plan a picnic. Pack some sandwiches, some wine (don’t forget the corkscrew!) and a blanket. Find a quiet spot. Enjoy! Day or night, picnics are a great, and inexpensive, way to treat your partner to a special evening.
• Dancing. Anything from live jazz to a dance club with a deejay, dancing is a great way to have fun, relieve stress and build sexual tension with that special someone.
• Share an adventure. Instead of flying solo, do something audacious with your lover. A kayak or canoe trip will allow for relaxed conversation while, at the same time, encourage teamwork. Or head to an amusement park and challenge yourselves to conquer the scariest ride there. It will help you build trust and create a sense of what you can accomplish together.
• Take a tour. Perhaps a carriage ride around town or a trip to a museum? A walking house tour or haunted history tour of a local neighborhood? Exploring together is a great opportunity to learn and grow as both individuals and a pair.

In Seeking Family

Connecting with our kids can be a challenge. Distinct interests and personalities, coupled with the daily demands of households, careers and activities, can make free time seem fleeting, and fun time all but absent. But children are actually simple creatures who thrive on only a sense of love and wonder. And it turns out, it’s not all that difficult to provide them with that.

• Go on a walkabout. I’m not talking about your everyday, ordinary walk around the neighborhood. A walkabout is a walk with purpose, and with the intention of escaping the mundane and immersing oneself in adventure. I take my son on walkabouts every week and each time we create a mission. We make lists of what we hope to find; things like feathers, caterpillars and berries. We commit to saying hello to any passers by. We pause to look at the sky, identify cloud types and make up stories about the cloud formations. These walks are such an amazing way to be present with him in the moment, feed his sense of wonder and give him knowledge about nature, kindness and spirituality. Such a simple activity can provide endless benefits.
• Baking. Kids of all ages love to make messes. And they love to create. Baking cutout cookies is a favorite in our house, any time of year. Cracking eggs, playing with the dough, making shapes and decorating with sprinkles and icing is an experience that gives kids a chance to get messy and learn while they develop confidence and pride in themselves. And the best reward? Cookies!
• Take a trip to a local farm. Apple picking, horseback riding and corn mazes are just a few of the fun activities children can find at local farms. This is another great way for the little ones to learn, laugh and burn off some energy!
• Build a fort. I bought my son a professional fort-making kit for his birthday a few years back. He loves it, but for me, it’s a bit too modern. Some of the best forts we’ve made are spontaneous, handmade and encompass the entire living room. Sheets, pillows, chairs, brooms, whatever we can find. Making a fort inside is the perfect way to spend a rainy day, or build one outside when the weather is nice.
• Camp out. I can recall, as a kid, camping out in my backyard. Making s’mores, telling ghost stories and falling asleep in a tent pitched outside the safety of my parents’ house and amidst a comfortable, family neighborhood. Now, my house backs up to woods and I feel a bit uneasy about letting my son camp outside on his own. So sometimes we camp out in the yard together. For older kids, setting up a tent in the yard is a great way to give them a sense of adventure and independence. In colder weather, or for younger children, set up a tent in the living room and have a pretend camp out, complete with s’mores!

The possibilities for creating purpose and adventure in your life truly are endless. Have an idea that’s not on this list? Leave a comment below!

Who doesn’t love fruit? Fresh, juicy, delicious fruit! It’s refreshing on a hot summer day, satisfying in a fresh, seasonal smoothie, great for  holiday desserts and makes a perfect Spring Sangria. Let’s be real, fruit is incredibly delicious, convenient, versatile and HEALTHY! Or is it?

Yes, fruit is healthy. In moderation. Fruit contains a lot of good stuff like antioxidants, fiber, vitamins & minerals. Those things can really do a body good (unlike milk, but we’ll save that story for another day). The bad news? A lot of fruits also contain high amounts of fructose, which is the same thing as sugar. Do you know what happens to sugar after consumption? A couple of things.

When you consume fructose, your body processes it via your liver and it turns into fat. That’s right, FAT. So if you’re trying to lose weight, eating a lot of fruit is not your best bet. Secondly, the more fructose you eat, the more your body develops an insulin resistance, which means that you are more likely to develop Type II Diabetes. Thirdly, consuming sugar causes opiate and dopamine activity in the reward centers of the brain. In layman’s terms, eating too much sugar (including fruit) causes a real, physiological addiction to sugar. Sugar addiction can lead to a ton of other bad stuff, including heart disease and cancer. And I’m pretty sure you don’t want any of that.

When I began the Autoimmune Protocol to treat my Lupus holistically, I had to limit my fruit to just 1-2 servings a day. When you’re cutting out nearly all other sugary foods (along with carbs!!!), fruit is the LAST thing you want to give up. And you don’t have to! Fruits are a beneficial part of any diet. Just remember, balance is key.

You’ve heard the expression “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” right? It’s true! Apples are an excellent choice for a snack. But not all fruits are created equal. Limit yourself to what types of fruit you choose and how much you consume. Here is a list of fruits with high fructose content, and some healthier alternatives that will provide the same nutrients.